Affliction
by everyday0203
Summary: [AU] Sakura is a volunteer at a mental institution and is forced to take on Gaara as a patient...can Sakura cure Gaara? or will Gaara's affliction rub off onto Sakura as well?
1. Chapter 1

**yay! another chapter story!  
all thanks to Sakuradeathblossom who saved me from the fiery pits of cliche-dum.**

**hope you all like it... it's AU in case you didn't already know.**

**a new chapter will hopefully be written soon.**

**:-)**

* * *

It was pouring rain that cold November day when Sakura first started her volunteer job at Konoha's mental institution. 

Nerves and excitement were built up inside of her chest as she rushed through the heavy wooden doors to the main part of the building.  
Escaping the wet smell of dying leaves, she was greeted by the strangling smell of mildew, bleach, medication, and the decaying smell of the insane and heavily medicated.

Making a violent churn, Sakura's stomach kicked up some bile.  
Cursing at her luck for getting assigned to this place, she took a brave step toward the caged off area and barred doors.  
It looked more like a prison then a place where the mentally ill were supposed to be rehabilitated…

"Can I help you?" asked the indifferent receptionist behind the bars of the window.  
She was filing down her nails with a nail file and looking completely bored and a little angry at the fact that she was being disturbed.

"I'm Sakura Haruno." Sakura said introducing herself. "I'm the volunteer from The University that was assigned here. I'm supposed to complete my internship here before I graduate…"

"Oh yeah. I was told that you were coming today. Come on in." the lady said as she pushed a button near her hand and a loud buzzing noise echoed down the halls as the door unlocked itself.

Taking a deep breath, Sakura opened the door and walked behind the caged area.  
She jumped slightly as the heavy door was slammed behind her by a big gorilla looking man who's job it obviously was to rough up anyone who got out of control.

Sakura couldn't help but feel as the walls closed in on her as she started to think that she was now trapped, just like all of the residents admitted into the institution.

"Tsunade will be with you in a minute." the receptionist said, returning to her nails once again.

Sakura nodded at her and looked around at her surroundings.

Above her head a light bulb blinked and buzzed unsteadily. It needed to be replaced, but yet it added to the oppressive and depressing atmosphere that emanated from the entire building.  
The colors of the building were very hospital like: mostly white, maybe some beige, possibly a mix of light yellow as well…but Sakura couldn't tell if those colors were supposed to be mixed in there since it looked like the building hadn't been properly cleaned for at least a few years...or decades.  
There was at least an inch of dust on the few picture frames that were nailed to the walls sparingly.  
Most of them were crooked, and all of the frames were broken in some way. Probably from an angry resident throwing something at them…or maybe even crashing some part of the body against it.  
Sakura shuddered at the mental image that was brought up of a mangy looking man crashing his head against the glass of the frame, cutting his head open and laughing witlessly.

As if on cue, Sakura heard mumbling and shuffling from around the corner of the hallway.  
Sakura always envisioned mental patients to look like zombies.  
All of them crazy and most of them drugged to the point of being undead; only aware enough to function on the most basic levels.  
She never liked mental hospitals, and this place was not improving her thoughts on them.

But she had to stick it out.  
Only six months here and she would be graduating and on her way to becoming one of the best doctors in Konoha and would never have to set foot in here ever again.  
Taking another deep breath to calm her increasingly jumpy nerves, Sakura gave the gorilla man a sideways glance and smile.

_I wish this Tsunade woman would hurry up_. Sakura thought to herself.

Suddenly a loud crashing echoed down the hall and it sounded like something had just been shattered beyond repairing.

"Get away from me!" a deep voice yelled at someone.  
Sakura heard a calm voice say something to assumingly the person yelling, but it only elicited another crashing noise.

The gorilla man besides Sakura shuffled into action and Sakura followed him.  
If she was going to work here, she might as well get used to all of the events that happened as well; but she made sure to keep a safe distance from the man since he looked like he could break just about anything in half.

The hallway opened up into a much larger room, furnished with barely padded chairs, ancient dusty lamps, small scuffed coffee tables, and an undersized TV that was propped up on stilts and still had bunny-eared antennas in order to get a fuzzy channel or two.  
The rug was a sickly vomit color and Sakura silently hoped that that was the color it was supposed to be and wasn't that color due to the residents actually vomiting on it…

The room was surprisingly full of patients, but Sakura drew her attention to the scene in front of her.

The gorilla man walked over to an older lady who had long blonde hair and was wearing a white lab coat.

She was talking to someone, but the view was blocked by the massive primate man.  
Whoever she was talking to had obviously been the one yelling and breaking stuff before.

"Don't touch me!" the deep voice yelled again and Sakura tried to peak at the owner of the voice, but failed.

"We're not going to hurt you." the blonde woman said calmly, making reassuring gestures with her hands. "Just put down the glass and we can go into my office and talk…"

"NO! Just leave me alone!"

The woman extended her hand asking for the glass with it and said, "Please…"

"Stop looking at me like that!" the voice yelled.  
Sakura could feel the situation spinning out of control quickly.

"If you would give me the glass then I could leave you alone and I won't have to look at you…" the woman said as soothingly as she could.

"STOP STARING AT ME!" the man's voice cracked.

Sakura watched as the woman made the mistake of taking a step forward and the still invisible man struck out like a viper and slashed the woman's hand with the glass that they were trying to get away from him.

Blood flowed out quickly, and Sakura stared at it in shock as the red liquid dripped to the grotesque carpet.

Sakura didn't notice that the gorilla man had rushed forward until she heard a loud crunch and a thud as the man punched the attacker and pinned him against the floor.

"Chikusho! Stop it! Just get the glass out of his hand and restrain him!" The woman yelled at the guard as she held her hand to her chest, staining her white coat with blood.

Smiling to herself at how perfectly the gorilla man's name matched him, Sakura turned her gaze to the floor and got her first view of the attacker.  
His red hair drew her attention first, then it drifted down to the blood red kanji tattoo on his forehead.  
Sakura gasped at the fact that the man on the floor couldn't possibly be much older then she was.

The hairs on her arms stood up and her skin pricked at the look of pure malice shown brightly on the young man's face. Although Chikusho clearly outweighed him by at least 200 pounds, and he was also being strangled and pinned by the ape, he was straining against him with his teeth bared and was snarling.  
Blood leaked from his nose and his cheek was already swelling at the area that Chikusho had punched him.

The offending glass was still being grasped tightly by the red-head and was making a deep cut into his hand.  
Sakura rushed over and snatched it before the cut went too deep and cut ligaments and tendons.

The redhead moved to lash out at her, but Chikusho hit him once again.

"I said stop it!" the woman yelled again.  
She produced a needle and waved it in front of the pinned red-head's face. "Now behave or I _will_ give you this." she hissed at him.

The red-head hissed right back at her and spit on her and the needle.  
The woman doctor sighed as Chikusho made another devastating blow to the red-head's face.

"Stop!" Sakura yelled at him, barely registering the words that were coming out of her mouth.

"I got the glass away from him, now just leave him alone!"  
Turning to the woman doctor, Sakura introduced herself and offered to look at her hand.  
Waving her good hand and shaking her head, the older woman introduced herself as Tsunade and instructed Sakura to look at the patient's injuries first.

Sakura felt her stomach drop once again when she realized that she was expected to take care of the man whom she had just taken a weapon away from…

Tsunade interrupted her thoughts by adding, "When you're done, see me in my office and I'll show you around…I'm sorry that this had to be your first experience here…but Gaara is always giving us problems."

_Gaara?_ Sakura thought as she watched both Tsunade and Chikusho exit the room.

Sakura turned stiffly to look at Gaara who was now squatting against the wall, sizing her up.  
He sat on the backs of his heels, resting an arm on each leg and staring at her intently.  
Sakura felt his eyes travel up her body, causing her breath to hitch when his gaze finally reached hers and she was staring at the brightest colored eyes she had ever seen.

Sakura tore her gaze away and focused on the various swollen areas on his face that had blood leaking from them.  
She then moved her gaze over to his hand and saw that the blood had traveled down his arm slightly, but was now dripping onto the carpet.

Taking a deep breath Sakura extended her hand and said, "Hello Gaara. I'm Sakura. I'll be…"

She trailed off as he stood up from where he was sitting.  
He silently turned his back on her and walked down the hallways to what Sakura assumed were the examination rooms.

_I sure have my work cut out for me…_Sakura thought as she followed a distance behind him.  
"Welcome to Hell, Day 1..." Sakura muttered to herself before entering the room with possibly one of the most dangerous men she had ever been in the vicinity of…


	2. Chapter 2

**it's funny...i would much rather work on this then my english project i should be doing...**

**hmmm, i wonder why?**

thanks everyone for the wonderful reviews!  
enjoy!  
:-)

* * *

Gaara calmly sat down on what Sakura assumed was the examination table.  
It looked old, uncomfortable, and cold.  
But Gaara didn't seem phased by it at all.  
He just sat there, feet dangling over the side of the table, back up against the wall, and his arms folded over his chest waiting for Sakura to begin.

Sakura could see the blood from his cut hand leaking out onto his off-white patient attire from underneath his folded arms.  
Sakura felt dread fill her stomach, she knew that the cut was going to need stitches…and that meant that she had to touch the man in front of her.

His eyes held an unwavering look of intolerance with her as she stepped into the room.

"Alright, le…le…let's." Sakura cleared her throat in order to remove the nervousness that was causing her sudden stutter.  
_Come on Sakura, _she thought to herself, _it's only a patient. You can do this._  
Taking a deep breath, she looked Gaara straight into the eyes and spoke, "Let's get started. Let me see your hand."

But Gaara didn't move.  
In fact, it seemed like his edgy glare only intensified.

"Hold out your hand." Sakura said again as she motioned with her own hand on what he should do.

Gaara's glare turned into one of heated annoyance as he hissed, "I am _not_ an idiot, contrary to what you may think about mental patients. I know what 'hold out your hand' means."

Not used to her patients giving her attitude, Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and said sharply, "Then why aren't you doing it?"

Gaara's glare was immediately ruined when his eyes widened at her statement. He looked at her like _she_ was the crazy one in the room.

"What?" Sakura asked, becoming frustrated with the red-head.

A slow smirk crept onto Gaara's face, and Sakura couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable with it. There was something unnaturally disturbing about that smirk…

Slowly Gaara uncrossed his arms and pointed upwards to a sign that was hung directly above him on the wall.

The sign said in bold black lettering:

**ALL HIGH-RISK PATIENTS MUST BE RESTRAINED BEFORE PROCEDURE CAN BEGIN.**

"That's me." Gaara said.

Sakura suddenly felt incredibly dim-witted.  
No wonder he wasn't listening to her, she had to restrain him before she could even begin her examination.

Looking around the room, Sakura searched for the restraints.

Gaara let out a annoyed sigh and jumped down from the table. Sakura immediately snapped back into an upright position and focused all of her attention back to him. She felt anxiety creep up her spine as she watched him walk closer to her.

Gaara noticed her reaction to him immediately and the smirk returned to his face.

He stalked up to her until Sakura was forced to look up slightly to hold the gaze that she had with him. Sakura hadn't noticed before, but he was a few inches taller then she was…and his frame, although extremely thin and malnourished, still looked like it could do some serious damage.

Her breath caught in her throat when she noticed that he was leaning into her…when his face was a mere inch away from hers, he whispered in a husky voice, "Are you scared of me?"

Sakura tried to form words, but she found that the aura emanating from the lunatic in front of her was strangling the air around her.  
All she could do was stare up at his eyes and try not to let the fear show through…but she knew she was failing miserably at this task because his grin only widened.

He was loving every ounce of her fear…and Sakura despised him for it.

He leaned slightly over to her right and reached for something behind her.  
Sakura stayed glued to the spot she was in.

Gaara returned to his position in front of her and produced a handful of stained restraints in front of her face.  
Leaning in once again, Sakura's eyes widened as she watched his face get closer and closer to hers.

Gaara leaned in to the point where their noses were almost touching and said in his monotonous tone, "Do you think you can handle it from here?" and placed the restraints in her hands.  
Then he walked back to the examination table, resuming the position that he was in before.

Sakura suppressed the annoyed growl that was forming in her chest.  
He was playing with her.  
And he was enjoying it every step of the way.

Sakura briskly walked over to him and placed the restraints onto the table next to him with a little more force then needed.

She grabbed one restraint and kneeled down onto the floor, grabbing his ankle on the way and strapping the restraint to it.  
As she tied the other end into the loop that the table had attached to it, Sakura couldn't help but notice Gaara smirking down at her.

She really wanted to smack that smirk off of his face…  
But she couldn't.  
She had to practice self-control, otherwise her internship would be over the day it started and all of her aspirations would be scattered to the wind…all because of the pig-headed, self-centered, lunatic sitting above her.  
And Sakura had a sneaking-suspicion that he knew that.

After she had restrained the other ankle securely, she grabbed his non-injured hand and wrapped the restraint belt around it.  
Tightening it a little tighter then she should have, Sakura yanked his arm straight out to the side and tied the other end of the restraint tightly.

She went to instruct him on how to hold his injured arm out for her so that she could both restrain it and stitch it up properly, but Gaara apparently already knew the drill, because he was already in that position.

Sakura let out a short chuckle and wrapped the restraint around his wrist carefully, trying not to further injure the gouged hand.

"I see you've done this before…" she muttered, trying to break the tension between them.

"Once or twice." he said shortly and indifferently.

Once Sakura knew that he was securely restrained, she went over to the cupboards in the room and began to search through them.  
In no time at all, she had found the rubbing alcohol, stitches, cotton swabs, and bandages.

Taking silent satisfaction in the knowledge that the rubbing alcohol was going to cause Gaara a lot of pain, she sat down in front of him and began her work.  
Dousing one of the cotton swabs with rubbing alcohol, she roughly dabbed at the cuts on Gaara's face.  
Much to her disappointment, he didn't even wince.  
He just kept his indifferent eyes staring straight ahead of him and seemed to ignore the fact that she was even in the room.

Her eyes traveled to the tattoo on his forehead, and she couldn't help but stare at it. As she looked at it closely and noticed that it wasn't a tattoo, but a scar!

"It's not polite to stare…" Gaara half-said and half-warned her.

Remembering what he was yelling at Tsunade for prior to this, Sakura immediately dropped her gaze and threw away the dirty cotton swab and prepared a new one.

"What does it mean?" she asked, trying to distract Gaara from the fact that she was staring at him.

Gaara didn't answer her question though, he just kept staring straight ahead.

"Okay…" Sakura said nervously.  
She didn't know what was worse, him ridiculing her, or him being dead silent.  
_He's securely restrained…he can't do anything to me. _She reassured herself. Clinging to that knowledge tightly, Sakura continued her work.

After placing bandages on the more major cuts on his face, Sakura turned her attention to his still bleeding hand.

Trying not to outwardly smirk as she grabbed the bottle of rubbing alcohol, she poured a considerable amount of the stinging liquid directly onto the cut…watching his face the entire time.

But it remained emotionless.

_Does this guy not have any feelings?_ Sakura thought exasperated at the fact that her revenge on him hadn't gone like she hoped it would. She didn't even get a satisfying wince or sharp intake of breath…

Twelve stitches later, she was wrapping a thick white bandage around his hand.

"You won't be able to fully use this hand for at least a few weeks." Sakura informed him.

Gaara let out a bored sigh and gave her a sideways glance, "Are we done here?"

Feeling her temper begin to boil once again, Sakura answered through gritted teeth, "Yes."

Gaara nodded slightly and twisted his arms and legs back and forth a little bit, and before Sakura knew what he was doing, he was out of his restraints and walking out of the door.

Dumbfounded, Sakura gaped at him with an open mouth.

"You should learn how to tie better knots," he said as he walked towards the door. "Because next time I might not be so controlled."

Sakura narrowed her eyes and tightened her fists…she wanted nothing more than to pound that man into the ground.  
Once he was out of sight however, Sakura's anger immediately dissipated and she started to clean up the room.

* * *

Navigating herself around the hospital and the numerous patients walking around the building, Sakura eventually found Tsunade's office after making few wrong turns.  
Quietly knocking on the door, Sakura took physical notes on the woman sitting behind the large desk. Sakura guessed that her boss was probably in her 50s, she also noticed that her injured hand was already bandaged up.

Tsunade looked up from the file she was reading at her desk and motioned for Sakura to come in.

"Please, sit down. Take a breather…that was quite the event to start your internship with."

"You can say that again." Sakura said as she sat heavily down into the cushioned chair in front of Tsunade's desk. "Are all of the patients like that?"

Tsunade laughed and shook her head, "No…Most of them are really well behaved and will leave you alone and take their medication without a problem. But Gaara…well, Gaara's different."

"He's an arrogant prick is what he is…" Sakura muttered causing Tsunade to laugh.

"He does know how to manipulate people, that's for sure…did he talk to you at all?"

Sakura nodded, "A little I guess…I asked him what the mark on his forehead meant and he didn't answer me. Other then that, our 'conversation' was strictly restricted to him belittling me."

Tsunade's eyes widened in surprise, "You asked him about his scar and he didn't flip out on you?"

Sakura shook her head 'no', "He just stared straight ahead and avoided my question completely."

"Well, it would appear we got the right girl for the job then!" Tsunade mused. "Usually if he even catches you staring at it he flips out, as you can see…" Tsunade said as she waved her bandaged hand in the air.

"Did you bandage your hand yourself?"

Tsunade nodded at her, "It looked worse then it really is. It didn't even need stitches. Gaara knows better then to seriously hurt me, after all, I control the amount of Nembutal he gets."

"So that's what was in the syringe…" Sakura wondered out loud.

Tsunade nodded, "He hates that stuff, and for a good reason. It really messes with his head and turns him into a human shell, but I have no choice…I have to give it to him."

"Why is he here?" Sakura asked, genuinely interested.

"Well…that's kind of a long story…there's a lot of things mixed together. But I will tell you that the scar on his forehead has a lot to do with it. But the other details I will share with you another time since I want to get you acquainted with this place as soon as possible so that you can start your actual duties."

Sakura nodded her head and stood up as Tsunade motioned for her to exit the room.

* * *

Sakura walked in silence next to the older woman as she was given the rundown on the hospital.

The hallways were swarming with patients.  
Some were sitting on the floor rocking back and forth, others were holding intense conversations with themselves, some were just staring off into space, and others were following the two women down the hallway.  
Sakura couldn't help the sickly feeling that was building up in her stomach. Seeing people in those mental states always made Sakura uncomfortable.

As they walked down the musky halls, Tsunade gave her the details of what her internship would include, every once in a while stopping to point out specific patients and telling Sakura how to deal with them.

"Most of the patients here are pretty harmless. They're just here for little psychological disorders that make it hard for them to live in the general population. We do have some dangerous ones here; but they will go out of their way to avoid you. As long as you don't overstep your ground you'll be fine. Just make sure you know what patient you're approaching and their medical history before you approach them…that's the best advice I can give you."

Tsunade stopped suddenly. Sakura looked at her and followed the woman's gaze to figure out why she had stopped.

She saw Gaara stalking down the hallway, parting the mass of other mental patients on his way. But he wasn't physically moving them, they were pushing themselves against the wall using their own volition.

Even Tsunade calmly stepped out of his way.

Sakura followed her lead and inched as close to the wall as she could, keeping her eyes on Gaara the entire time.

She couldn't help but stare at him. There was something about the way he walked down the hallway that caught her attention.  
He was a force to be reckoned with…and he knew it.

Starting at his red hair, her eyes traveled down to his intense eyes that were rimmed with dark circles that only added to the mysteriousness that surrounded him.  
She took notes on his narrow mouth that seemed to be eternally twisted into a serious frown.  
Her eyes lingered on his thin body that was small but also held unbelievable definition…Sakura could clearly see every muscle in his exposed arms from the T-shirt that he was wearing…  
_I wonder what's under that shirt, _Sakura thought lustfully.

Shaking her head to rid her mind of her thought pattern, Sakura mentally berated herself, _Stop it Sakura! Get a grip…he's one of your patients now, you can't be fantasizing about him._  
But she couldn't help herself from taking one more glance at him.  
This time her eyes traveled to his hands, and she noticed that his injured one was no longer bandaged.

The previous lust was immediately replaced by irritation.

As he closed in on her position, Sakura stepped directly into his path and refused to move out of his way.

His eyes slowly drifted to rest on her, and all of the intensity in them bared down on her.  
Sakura found that once again her breath hitched in her throat. But she was stuck now…she never backed down from anything.  
If she faltered and moved out of his way, he would know that he had power over her…and that was one thing Sakura wouldn't let this man have.

Finding her strength once again, Sakura made herself as tall as she could and demanded, "What happened to the bandage on your hand?"

Tilting his head to the side and smirking at her once again, he took another step forward and replied, "It fell off."

"It couldn't have," Sakura said as she took another step towards him.  
She saw hesitation flash before his eyes as she breached his vicinity; but he quickly covered it up once again with stagnant boredom and slight amusement. "I made sure that bandage was as tight as possible."

His smirk grew, "Tight like the restraints that you tied?".

Then he stepped around her and continued down the hall.  
Sakura watched him walk away, burning holes into his back with her loathing.  
She watched him until he turned the corner and disappeared once again.

"I don't know what you did…but you somehow got on Gaara's good side." Tsunade said, interrupting Sakura's staring.

"What are you talking about?!" Sakura said a little too loudly.  
Some patients around them winced at her volume and cowered away from the two doctors.  
Sakura noticed this and muttered a soft apology to the fleeing patients.

"I'm talking about you somehow gaining Gaara's respect."

"Respect? Did you see what just happened? Or did you somehow twist that scenario into a good one?"

Tsunade chuckled at Sakura and said, "If you were anyone else, Gaara wouldn't have stopped. He would have plowed right through you, throwing you to the floor like a rag doll…believe me, I've seen it happen before to plenty of people. You're the first person I've actually seen him not touch aggressively. PLUS he talked to you…that's rare as well. I've spent years in session with him and only been able to get a word or two every few weeks."

Sakura gaped at her boss as the reality of the situation sunk in.

"Years? How long has he been here for?"

Tsunade sighed and crossed her arms in reflection, "He's been here a long time. His father dropped him off when he was six years old. Gaara was soaking wet, freezing cold, covered in blood from that mark on his head that he had just carved, and refused to let anyone talk to or touch him. His father disappeared before we could even question him so I admitted him myself since it was obvious that he had a problem. When he turned 18, I told him that he could now leave since he was now old enough to check himself out…but he stayed. I guess after twelve years in a place, you start to think of it as your home…even if it is a mental hospital." Tsunade stared out of the window in sad reflection. "I've had his case for a long time, and I've only scraped the surface of who Gaara really is. It seems that you've made as much progress in a few hours then I have in sixteen years…"

A slow smile crept onto Tsunade's face, "I have an idea…"

_This can't be good…_Sakura thought.

"I'm going to put you in charge of Gaara's case, since he is already interacting with you."

Sakura stared at the woman in horror.

"Are…are you sure?" she asked the woman, trying to think of a way out of this.

"I'm absolutely sure. From now on you will have an hour session with Gaara three times a week. You are also expected to observe his actions in the general populous of this hospital and note any outstanding behaviors."

Tsunade checked her watch and continued, "It's about time for lunch. Why don't you follow me to the cafeteria and I'll go get Gaara's file and fill you in on everything so that you can start on him tomorrow."

Sakura hated her life at that moment, but she couldn't tell Tsunade 'no'. The doctor in her couldn't turn down this case, if there was a chance to fix Gaara and get him out of this hospital, she felt obligated to do it…even though every cell in her body detested her for it.

Sakura nodded to Tsunade's request, which caused the blonde woman to smile.

"Excellent!" she exclaimed, "follow me then." And with that, Tsunade continued briskly down the hallway.

Sakura trudged behind her, all the while mentally kicking herself, _I couldn't have gone to school to be a writer…NOOOOO I had to be a doctor! I wanted to help and fix people…well look where it has gotten me! _

But Gaara's face flashed before her eyes in the middle of her mental rant and Sakura couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her selfishness. _Maybe once I break his shell things will get better…_

Eventually they returned to Tsunade's office and the woman produced a thick file that rivaled the size of the book _War and Peace_.

Dropping the file in Sakura's arms, Sakura gaped at it and thought…_after all of this, things had BETTER get better…_


	3. Chapter 3

**After writing 30 pages for my english project... i decided that i deserved a break from the schoolwork and would get to write the next chapter.**

**SO HERE IT IS!**

**thanks for the reviews once again! i love you all!!!**

**;-)**

* * *

Sakura struggled with her apartment key in the lock.

In her arms she was juggling a hot coffee from the nearest café, takeout from her favorite Chinese restaurant, and Gaara's file.  
Not wanting to spill any of the precious items in her arms, she eventually jiggled the lock and pushed the door open with her foot.

An empty, dark apartment greeted her.

Knowing that it was a straight shot from the door to her kitchen table without any obstacles in the way, Sakura rushed forwards and dumped everything out of her arms onto the table surface before it all fell to the floor in a caffeinated-rice and vegetable-papery mess.

Once her arms were emptied, Sakura walked over to the wall and flipped on the lights.

Her apartment was humble, but it was plenty of room for a single girl.  
She had a kitchen, a bedroom, a small bathroom, and also a little area that she had put her couch and TV in, just in case she invited some friends over.

Looking around to make sure that everything was still in order and that no one had broken in, Sakura grabbed her dinner and her coffee and placed them on the coffee table in front of her couch.

Returning to the kitchen table, she took a deep breath and stared at the massive file in front of her.  
Tsunade had filled her in on the major issues about Gaara that were enough to get her by; but Sakura requested to take the file home anyways.  
She wanted to be thorough and see if she could find a new way to help the man.

Picking up the file with both hands, she returned to the couch and plopped down on it.

"Alright Gaara, let's see what you have for me…" she said to herself as she opened the lid of her coffee and took a helping off food out of her carry-out containers with some chopsticks.

* * *

A few hours later, the numbers on her digital clock changed to midnight.

Scattered on the table in front of Sakura was a half-eaten dinner, four empty coffee mugs, and a finished case-file .

After reading the file, Sakura found, much to her disappointment, no new material that could help her with Gaara other then the information that Tsunade had already given her.  
All the file contained was exact details on Gaara's conditions and exact interactions or confrontations he had with people in the hospital, complete with the confrontation that had happened earlier that day; and also any unusual things he said throughout his time there.

Leaning forward and rubbing her dry and heavy eyes, she picked up the piece of paper that she had written small notes on to help her review the main points about Gaara.

According to the file, Gaara was brought to the hospital when he was six by his father, who gave a false last name and soon after disappeared completely.  
Apparently he had two older siblings who had visited him twice: the first time Gaara had flipped out and tried to attack them.  
The second time, Tsunade sedated him so that he wouldn't attack his brother and sister, but this only resulted with them deciding that seeing Gaara like that was too much and left, never to return.  
According to Tsunade's notes, whenever she confronted the two for personal information about Gaara, they both jetted out of the building, never saying anything.

Gaara had a large wound, which was now a deep scar, on his head that was in the shape of the kanji character that meant 'love'.  
According to the file and Tsunade's examination report, it looked as if someone had carved it into his forehead with a knife or some sort of similar sharp object.  
She had tired to stitch it up so it wouldn't scar so badly, but Gaara wouldn't let her.  
Why he had it, or who had done it to him remained a mystery since Gaara never talked about it and immediately flipped out at anyone who brought it up.

_Except me…_ Sakura thought to herself.

Gaara was diagnosed with Brief Psychotic Disorder when he was admitted.  
This episode lasted for approximately twenty-five days and was complete with auditory hallucinations.  
Apparently he complained about a voice in his head that was telling him to kill.

This episode only proved that whatever Gaara had seen and gone through was extremely traumatic for the young boy since Brief Psychotic Disorders are small psychotic breaks that can happen after a life-altering event.  
Usually the person recovers after about a month or so though.

Gaara also had Social Anxiety Disorder.  
Tsunade noticed this when Gaara was reintroduced into the hospital's general population.  
He was reported as being shaky and sweaty when Tsunade ushered him into the full room.  
Shortly after, Gaara got into a fight with one of the patients who had simply walked over to talk to him.

Finally, Gaara was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder.  
This one bothered Sakura the most.  
Whenever a child had this disorder, it either meant that they were either neglected as a baby or were continually abused.  
Children with RAD could usually be cured with lots of therapy, but it all depended on whether or not the child _wanted_ to be cured, and Gaara obviously didn't.  
Tsunade had apparently tried holding therapy, but Gaara reportedly lashed out at the visiting therapist and broke her arm in the process.

Since then, Gaara had been sedated on a regular basis with the drug Nembutal.  
Tsunade openly voiced her disapproval of such an action in her notes, writing that it was a de-humanizing drug that forced Gaara into an almost catatonic state, not really knowing what was going on around him, but yet having a reaction in his eyes from certain stimulants; but there was just no other way to control him.  
She weaned him off of it gradually. Now he was only drugged if he goes too far and there is no other choice but to drug him, otherwise he would seriously damage himself or someone else.

Other then that, the rest of the file was padded with Tsunade's lengthy reports on Gaara's interaction with other patients and doctors. Including some of the things that caused him to react violently. Also, the conversations, or lack thereof, that they have had in therapy sessions.  
According to the notes, Gaara barely spoke, and when he did it was never anything useful or constructive.  
According to Tsunade, the sessions mainly consisted of her trying to generate conversations with Gaara without tipping him over the violent edge once again.

But what were sessions meant for Gaara's benefit soon became into sessions for Tsunade's benefit since she got to talk about issues and problems that she was facing, and Gaara would silently sit there and let her talk.

Tsunade also tool notes on the things she schooled Gaara in. She had taught him how to read, do math, and also taught him life lessons that kids and men his age should know about if they ever stood a chance in the outside world.  
She reported Gaara as an unattentive student who didn't look like he was paying attention, but always fully understood the material the first time it was introduced to him.

At the very back of the file were pictures of Gaara on each of his 'birthdays'. Since no one knew when his actual birthday was, they wrote it down as the day he was admitted into the hospital and assumed the age his father reported him as was correct. There was sixteen photographs in all.

Sixteen eerie photos of a child growing up in a mental hospital.

Sakura couldn't help but feel sympathy for the boy…who was no longer a boy; but a man cut off from the world and society itself.  
Sakura shivered as she stared at the photographs.  
His eyes looked so…haunted.  
It forced her skin to break out in goose bumps.

"What happened to you?" Sakura asked the newest picture of Gaara as she rubbed her finger over his face as if she was actually caressing his actual face.

"I will find out what happened. And I will help you to return to how you would have been if nothing had ever happened to you…how you _should_ have been." she promised the picture and herself.

Grabbing another piece of clean paper, she madly scribbled down notes on what breakthroughs she would work on with Gaara.  
After she had a fairly descent sized list, she decided that she couldn't put off sleep any longer, especially since she had to be at the hospital at eight in the morning…

* * *

On her way to the hospital, all Sakura could think about was how she was going to scratch off the first thing on her list: Getting him to talk during sessions.

She had to find a way to generate a conversation with him.  
Something.  
_Anything.  
_Just to make him talk, even if he did get violent…she would keep a syringe full of Nembutal in her pocket just in case he got too violent.

He would learn that he could trust her…once that was done, she could move on to the next thing on her list: Finding out personal information about him; assuming he still remembered anything.

From there she planned on getting him to talk about what had happened to him the night that he was admitted.

Once he told her that, she figured his Attachment Disorder would be easily reversed since he would trust her at this point, and then she could gradually begin introducing him back into society once again…and from there…

Sakura let out a heavy sigh as she waited at a red light.  
What did she hope for from there?  
That they would start dating?  
That he would fall in love with her?  
That they would live happily ever after?

Sakura couldn't help but laugh at this…

Gaara didn't strike her as the nine to five husband that came home and hugged his wife and kids and petted the family dog as soon as he walked into the door.

No…Gaara was _definitely_ not that type.

But yet, Sakura just couldn't get him out of her head!

A part of her wanted him to ravage her senseless, while the other half of her wanted to beat the crap out of him for treating her the way that he did.

It was a very dangerous combination.

A potent cocktail of lust and hate was mixing inside of her, waiting to be tested.  
And Sakura couldn't wait until she would be able to see how intoxicated she got off of it…

* * *

Tsunade walked her to the room where Gaara and her usually had their sessions, and Tsunade gave her a few pointers on reading Gaara.  
She reminded Sakura that quiet is good, and anything else was usually a bad sign.

She gave Sakura three syringes full of Nembutal and told her that one would calm him down, two would sedate him completely, and the third was for her in case she was too shaken up from the whole experience.  
Sakura laughed nervously at Tsunade's little joke.

_It can't be that bad…_ she told herself optimistically.

Feeling the syringes' weight in her new lab coat's pocket, Sakura waited patiently in one of the chairs in the room for Gaara to appear.

She shook her foot back and forth as her nerves got the better of her.  
Tsunade mentioned that Gaara was usually pretty punctual and was hardly ever late…and there was only three minutes left until their session was supposed to start.

Sakura stared out of the large windows at the hospital ground before her.  
The grass was surprisingly green outside, and almost brought a cheerful nature to the building…but remembering once again the gloomy front desk that greeted her, that thought was immediately wiped away.

It had seemed even more gloomy this morning then it had the day before…maybe it was just her nerves overriding her vision, but it seemed like another layer of dust had been added to everything and that overpowering smell of slowly decaying patients was stronger then usual.

Sakura was pulled from her thoughts as she heard slow but steady footsteps echo down the hallway and she immediately turned her attention to the door as the footsteps stopped in front of it and the doorknob twisted open.

Gaara walked into the room wearing normal street clothes. His black long sleeved shirt had holes cut into the bottom so that he could slip his thumbs through them and his jeans were old and faded.  
Both articles of clothing hung off of him since they were both a size to large for his small frame.

Yet, something within Sakura stirred as he closed the door behind him and turned to look at her.

He stopped mid-step to his chair on the opposite side of the room when he noticed that Tsunade wasn't the one in the room with him.  
They both remained silent.  
She sat there staring at him, waiting for him to make the first move.  
Gaara just stood there, his hands in his pockets.

When it soon became obvious that he wasn't going to initiate anything, Sakura said, "Hello again Gaara. You're probably wondering where Tsunade is…well, she put me in charge of you. So from now on I'll be the one that you talk to during sessions and also the one who will observe you."

"Hn."

One sound.  
One measly little noise was all she got…Sakura decided that she was not off to a good start.

And he was still standing by the door, obviously debating on whether or not he was going to stay of leave.

"If you could sit down, we could start…" Sakura said as she gestured towards the chair across from her.

Gaara still remained standing, glaring at her the entire time.

"Or you could stand there…" she muttered to herself as she put aside the pen and paper she had for taking notes on the session and stood up herself.

She noticed as Gaara took a step backwards, inching towards the door.  
He obviously didn't like her standing so close to him.

_What makes this different then yesterday?_ she wondered to herself as she watched Gaara's eyes switch from her to the door. _Yesterday he couldn't get close enough to me, he was practically rubbing his nose against mine!  
And now he hesitates at the fact that I'm standing in the same room that he is?  
Something's not right…but what's different?_

Then it all seemed to click.  
_He's not in control…that's what's different!  
Yesterday he could force my movements, but today he can't because I'm in control of the situation._

Trying not to smirk at her epiphany, Sakura slowly held her arms out in a passive gesture and said, "Don't go. Please. If you sit down, I promise you we can do whatever you want. We don't even have to talk to each other, I will sit here silently until you start talking first…how does that sound?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed slightly at her, but then he let out another "Hn" noise and walked away from the door and towards the window.

Sakura let go of the breath that she was unknowingly holding in.  
She now knew how to diffuse him: simply put him in control of the situation.  
She was tempted to write that information down, but decided to wait until the session was over, otherwise he would know that he wasn't in full control of the situation.

He apparently didn't like sitting in the chair, because he had seated himself on the small window ledge and leaned his forehead against the glass of the window as he hugged his legs into his body and stared out of the window.

The clock's ticking seemed to grow louder and louder as silent minute after silent minute dragged by.

Gaara never moved, he just stared out at nothing.  
Sakura couldn't help but stare at him.  
He truly was a beautiful creature…but the sadness that surrounded him took away from that beauty.

_What happened to you Gaara? _Sakura asked herself once again.

She was soon filled with pity as a million different scenarios of what could have happened to him ran through her mind.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Gaara saying, "Stop looking at me like that."

Sakura was shocked, how did he know how she was looking at him!?  
He hadn't moved at all…

"Look at you like what?" Sakura asked him softly, testing the waters of his mood.

Gaara sighed and closed his eyes, "I'm not stupid you know."

"I never said that you were…"

"Then why are you treating me like I am?!" he said loudly, turning his head to her.

His face held a passive expression, but his eyes were burning with some unknown emotion that Sakura had never seen before.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know that I was…"

"You pity me." Gaara cut her off, his voice growing an edge to it that made Sakura's fingers twitch for the syringes in her pocket.

She watched him carefully, tensing her muscles just in case he did flip out on her.

"Don't pity me! I don't need your pity!"

Sakura tried to wipe the expression off of her face, but she found it more difficult then she had imagined it would be.  
It seemed the more she tried to wipe away her expression, the worse it got.

"STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!" Gaara yelled as he pulled his legs in tighter into himself and fisted his hands into his hair.

Sakura didn't think, she only reacted.  
She stood up from her chair immediately and rushed toward him.  
Grabbing his hands firmly, she tried to pull them away from his head before he hurt himself.

Gaara immediately jolted away from her touch, as if she were a hot iron that had just been pressed against his skin.  
His eyes widened as he jumped down from the window ledge and pressed himself against the wall.

Sakura gasped and pressed her hand against her mouth when she realized what she had just done.

"G…Gaara I'm so…sorry. I wasn't thinking…" she tried to explain herself to him as he pulled at the bottom of this shirt's sleeves.

He kept his eyes pn the floor and stared intently at absolutely nothing.  
Once again silence filled the room as they both stood there waiting for each other to make the first move.

Gaara fidgeted, and Sakura mentally kicked herself repeatedly and cursed at her instincts.

Suddenly Gaara walked to the door, his head remaining bowed to the floor and his hands once again in his pockets.

Sakura moved to say something to stop him, but as she looked up at the clock, she noticed that their time was over already…

_Where did that time go?!_ she wondered to herself as she watched Gaara's slouched figure walk out of the door and slam it behind him.

Sakura immediately collapsed into the chair near her and rested her head in her hands.

_What a horrible way to start things off…_she thought to herself.

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Sakura figured it could only get better from here on out.  
She wouldn't be touching him again, that's for sure.

She looked at her hands and marveled at the fact that the areas that had touched him were still tingling, as if they had been jolted by electricity.

Moaning at her stupidity and hanging her head in her hands once again, she remembered the three syringes that Tsunade had given her and decided that the one shot of Nembutal wouldn't be enough for her to get through this…


	4. Chapter 4

**english project? what's that?! PSH!!!**

**me fail english? that's _unpossible_!**

**:-P**

**thanks for the amazing reviews guys! you all rock my world... **

**:-)**

**enjoy!**

* * *

Sakura decided that she would take her lunch break now since she needed the time to recollect herself.  
Otherwise, there was no way that she would be able to focus on the work that she needed to do. 

She closed her eyes and took deep breaths, forcing the previous events out of her mind.  
But it seemed that no matter how hard she tried to push it away, it only pushed back harder and weighed on her worse then it had before.

Hitting the back of her head against the chair's padded back a few times, she gazed up at the ceiling, cursing under her breath.

The silence in the room was interrupted by urgent whispers and running feet that rushed down the hallway.  
Sakura couldn't tell what the group was saying through the closed door, but wherever they were going, they were in a hurry.

_I wonder what that is about…_she wondered to herself, not wanting to get out of the chair to investigate.

Turning her head to the side, she gazed out of the large window next to her.  
Remembering how Gaara had been staring out of it earlier, she scanned the view trying to find something that could hold his attention for so long.

She didn't find anything.

Just a large open field with a tree or two scattered around to break up the emptiness.  
She watched as a slight breeze blew the limbs of the trees back and forth gently, and soon Sakura was hypnotized by the movement.  
The branches seemed to be reaching out to her, calling for her to come and help them…

_I can't help you…_ she thought to herself. _I can't help anyone…look what I just did to Gaara. Who knows what I did to him mentally…_

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of enraged heals pounding down the hallway.  
Sakura turned her head to the door as it was slammed open by a livid Tsunade.  
Her white lab robes once again had splatters of blood on them and she was fuming…taking short, yet loud breaths as she focused all of her rage into her gaze that fell on Sakura.

"What happened during your session?!" she all but yelled at Sakura.

Sakura stood up from the chair clumsily, and tried to explain in the best way possible what had happened between her and Gaara.

"W…Well everything started out fine. But then he told me to stop staring at him…and I did...but he kept yelling. Then he grabbed his head and started pulling at his hair."

Tsunade towered in the doorway, causing Sakura to feel extremely small and insignificant.  
She was afraid that if she told her the rest of the story, she would no longer have an internship…

"Then what happened?" Tsunade asked between clenched teeth.

Sakura swallowed the lump that was blocking her throat as she forced the words out of her mouth, "I…I…I only reacted and rushed over to him to make him stop hurting himself."

"Did you touch him?"

Sakura nodded as she turned her gaze to the floor, "I grabbed his hands to get him to stop pulling at his hair…"

Silence followed Sakura's confession.

She didn't hear Tsunade's breathing anymore…but that could have easily been drowned out by the thumping of her own heart.  
All Sakura could do was wait for the fallout.

"Didn't you listen to _anything_ I told you?!"

Sakura only bowed her head lower to the ground.

"You can't touch him during sessions! In fact, you shouldn't touch him at all!"

"But I touched him yesterday when I was stitching up his hand…" Sakura started, but was easily silenced when Tsunade lifted her hand to silence her.

"That's different. Gaara knows that in order to receive medical attention he needs to be touched, so he tolerates it. In any other situation, physical contact is not needed so he avoids it at all costs."

Tsunade let out a heavy breath as she pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "I thought you were smarter then that Sakura…Just by reviewing your school record and past experience, I expected more out of you."

"I'm sorry Tsunade, it won't happen again." Sakura said softly.

"You're right, it _won't _happen again. I'm tempted to remove you from Gaara's case altogether."

"NO!" Sakura said loudly, snapping her head up from the lowered position it was in.

"Please Tsunade, give me another chance…don't take me off of his case. It won't happen again, I'll control my reactions next time! Please, just give me another chance."

Sakura begged with all of her might.  
A small part of Sakura was amazed at herself since she never begged for anything.  
That same part of her wondered why she was begging to stay on the case of an emotionally-barren psycho that will probably attack her the next time he sees her…

Tsunade crossed her arms in front of her and closed her eyes in reflection once again.  
When Sakura had exhausted all of her begging abilities, she waited for the final verdict from her boss.

After a few moments of silence between them, Tsunade opened her eyes and focused on Sakura once again.  
The ire that was once burning in them was now replaced by the gentle yet firm stare that they usually held.

"Fine. I will give you another chance, but if something else happens, I _am _taking you off of this case." Tsunade warned her firmly.

Sakura nodded at the woman, grateful that she was getting a second chance.

"Now follow me.

Sakura followed her out of the room without question or pause, silently wondering where they were going.

As they walked into the wing of the building where all of the patients' individual rooms were in, Sakura's curiosity finally got the better of her.

"Where are we going?" she asked hesitantly.

"To Gaara's room." Tsunade answered without breaking her stride down the old hallway, "you're going to clean up the mess you've made."

* * *

They stopped in front of room 201. 

Tsunade picked up a small case that Sakura noticed some of the doctors carried around the hospital and gave it to her.

"You'll need this." she said, shoving the bag into Sakura's arms.

Sakura opened up the top of the bag and saw that inside there was stitches, antibiotics, cotton swabs, and an assortment of other medical instruments.

Sakura opened her mouth to ask Tsunade what she would need these for, but was interrupted by Tsunade saying, "When you are done with that, here are some other tools you will need in order to finish up." Tsunade said as she motioned to a mop, a bucket of soapy water, and other cleaning utensils.

Wondering what exactly Sakura had gotten herself into, she simply nodded at her boss.

"Come and find me when you are done with everything." Tsunade said as she turned and walked away.

Sakura watched her as she walked down the hallway.

What was going on…and why was Sakura suddenly given janitorial duties?

She watched Tsunade until she disappeared around the corner, and Sakura was left stranded in the gloomy hallway.

Taking in her surroundings, since this was the first time that she had actually been in this wing of the building, Sakura found them utterly depressing.

The hallway was barely wide enough to walk side by side with someone, not to mention the various stains of a multitude of colors that splattered the walls and floors. The walls had chips and dents everywhere in them and there was yet another light bulb flickering down a few doors away from where Sakura was standing.

Taking a deep breath, Sakura put her hand on the doorknob and slowly twisted it open.

The door opened easily with only a small creaking noise, and Sakura soon found herself in a room that looked like a war zone.

There was feathers and pieces of wood everywhere in the room.  
The small bed had been flipped over, and to Sakura's horror, the mirror in the room had been shattered to a million pieces.  
The floor was slippery with water that had probably came from what had once been a vase since there was colorful glass and fresh flowers on the floor as well.  
What really caught Sakura's attention was the blood on the floor though…

_What happened in here?! _Sakura thought to herself as she scanned the room for the person responsible for the mess…but she didn't see anyone.

Figuring the person was underneath the flipped over bed since it was propped up against the wall, Sakura walked over to it and squated down by one of the ends.

Her eyes widened in horror when she saw who's room it was…

_Gaara…_she said to herself as she took in the sight of the very wet, very bloody, and very drugged man in front of her.  
He was sitting against the wall in the middle of the bed; legs tucked tightly into him.

Blood was slowly oozing from a gash in his forehead and was slowly dripping off of his chin and onto his clothes.  
His hair was wet, but Sakura couldn't tell if it was water or blood since his hair was already red.  
His eyes held that glazed drugged looked that most of the patients at the hospital had; and his fingers lazily played with the material of his pants.

_I did this to him…_she couldn't help but think to herself. _This is all my fault._

"Gaara…" she said softly, not wanting to startle him.

He didn't move.  
He didn't even acknowledge her presence.  
He just stared straight ahead at his bare and stained mattress.

Taking in a shaky breath, Sakura inched closer to him.

That got a reaction, but not the one she had wanted…  
Gaara immediately tried to move away from her, but due to all of the drugs that he was given, he only succeeded in moving a sluggish inch away from her.

Knowing that she had to clean up the cut on his forehead, and also knowing that she wouldn't be able to get to him under the bed, Sakura decided that she would have to reflip the bed over.

Standing up, she grabbed the old and rusty bed frame, silently wondering how anyone could sleep on such a thing, and pushed the bed over with a loud crashing noise.

Sakura winced at the noise, but Gaara didn't even flinch.  
Sakura _did _notice that his eyes became panicked since she had just taken away the one thing that had protected him from her and everything else he would want to hide from.

Remembering what Tsunade had said about Gaara tolerating medical touch, Sakura kneeled down in front of him and presented the medical bag that she was given.

"Gaara I need to clean the wounds on your face, okay? I promise I won't hurt you."

Gaara just stared at her through glassy eyes.  
The sharpness that was usually cutting was now dulled, and Sakura found it even eerier then his usual glares.

Digging through the bag, Sakura took out what she needed and started her work on him.

She worked carefully…not wanting to agitate the cuts and also not wanting to agitate Gaara's already unstable status further.

He never moved, although Sakura was sure that the abrasions on his head were extremely painful.  
Judging by the looks of Gaara's forehead and what was left of the mirror, it looked as if he plunged his head face first into the once whole object; resulting in the shattered mirror and the multitude of cuts on his face.

Luckily, it looked like only a few of them needed stitches…

Sakura could smell the medicine on him.  
He didn't possess that predative musky smell that she believed all overwhelmingly attractive men like Gaara should have.  
Instead, he wreaked like Nembutal.

_He's had that drug pumping through his system for sixteen years, _she thought, _his sweat is probably pure Nembutal…_

The longer she sat there, the more she began to believe that Gaara _was_ the mental hospital.  
She believed that the man in front of her no longer had an identity, he was just the human embodiment of the mental institution.

As she worked, she noticed that Gaara wasn't reacting to her touch, but his eyes followed every move she made…  
He was watching every move with careful scrutiny, making sure that every touch was of the medical nature and wasn't a repeat of the earlier episode.

Sakura fought back the urge to run her hands through his hair…

Once she had made the final stitch, she produced a long white bandage wrap that was in the bag and gently wrapped it around her work, gently pushing the hair away from his forehead so that it wasn't underneath the bandage.

She couldn't help herself as her fingers rubbed his hair between her fingers slightly, silently marveling at how soft it was.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" she asked him softly.

But he just continued to stare at her, not moving or signaling to her that he was or wasn't.

_Why am I asking you? You're too drugged to even move…_ she sighed to herself.

She gently switched her seating arrangement and slowly grabbed one of his arms, pushing up his shirt sleeve to check for any more abrasions.

Gaara moaned softly and Sakura felt his muscles tense below her fingers in an attempt to pull away from her.

"It's okay, this is part of the examination…" she assured him, trying to get him back into the mindset of her touch being purely medical. "I have to check for any other injuries."

He relaxed once again, and Sakura quickly ran over his body to check for any other cuts.

There were none.

"Okay, I'm all done now." she said as she stood up.

Gaara's eyes followed her as she stood up, but he never moved himself.

Sakura couldn't help but see him as some sort of giant doll that was really alive, but was stuck in a plastic body unable to move.

She mentally cursed the man who had invented Nembutal…_if only he could see what the drug does to the people it is given to…_she thought as she stared down at Gaara's unresponsive form.

Deciding it was best to just let Gaara sit there where he felt somewhat safe, she placed the medical bag on top of the small desk that was in the room and retrieved the cleaning supplies.

She first picked up all of the debris in the room, putting it all in a garbage bag that Tsunade had luckily provided her.

Judging by all of the wood on the floor, Sakura guessed that it had once been a chair that went with the desk.  
She doubled the garbage bag and then carefully placed the shards of mirror and flower vase into it.  
She found an emptied pillow and figured that that was where the feathers had come from.

The last thing she picked up was the flowers…she inspected them and decided that they were considerably fresh; maybe a day or two old.

She then mopped up the floor, soaking up the water; and then swept it, only to mop it with the soapy water afterwards.

It took Sakura three hours to clean the room entirely.

When she was finished, she looked over at Gaara and noticed that he still hadn't moved at all.  
She felt bad leaving him there on the floor, but she didn't want to touch him again.  
She had just cleaned up the aftermath of the last time she had touched him…and she was going to take extra steps to be sure that she never touched him again.

Before she left, she bent down in front of his line of vision and whispered, "I'm so sorry Gaara."

She watched as his hazy eyes focused on her once again and narrowed.  
She was sure that she had never seen such mistrust and odium in someone's stare in all her life…

Grabbing the medical bag, Sakura quickly exited his room and closed the door loudly behind her.  
She leaned her back against it and took deep breaths to recollect herself.

She gathered up the garbage bag and the rest of the stuff she was given, and went in search of Tsunade.

Sakura found Tsunade in her office, working on more patient files.

Without even looking up from the paperwork she was filling out, Tsunade said, "I hope you learned your lesson. In other hospitals you can act without thinking, but here you have to think about the consequences of your actions before you act on them…you have to assess the damage. He would have been much better off pulling at his hair then you touching him. It's possible that you have set back months of work that I have done."

Sakura couldn't help the tears that started to swell in her eyes.

Tsunade put the pen she was using down on her desk and continued, "I want you to go home. I want you to think about whether or not you want to continue your internship here. In the morning, depending on whether you show up or not, I will know what you have decided to do."

Knowing that her voice was unstable, Sakura simply nodded at Tsunade's order and walked out of her office.

* * *

She all but ran to her car, fumbling with her car keys to open the door and to start the engine up. 

She sped to her apartment and all but collapsed through the door.  
Throwing herself onto her bed, Sakura sobbed uncontrollably.

When her body ran out of tears, Sakura simply shook violently with self-hatred and regret.

She rolled over onto her back and stared at all of the framed accomplishments that she had hung up on the walls.

The bolded words of _**Dean's List**_ and _**Exceptional Student Award**_ mockingly glared at her from their framed faces.  
She stood up and threw the numerous awards that she had received for her hard work to the ground, breaking every frame in the process.

She carelessly stepped on a piece of glass in the process and swore a slew of profanities as she sat back onto her bed once again and inspected her foot.

Tenderly pulling the piece of glass from her foot, she watched as blood began to drip onto the floor.

Her mind flashed back to Gaara's room and she couldn't help but laugh at the irony of the whole situation…here she was, a doctor-to-be, expected to cure Gaara, when in reality, she wasn't much different from him.

She decided that she wasn't going to return to the hospital.

She would leave Gaara in Tsunade's more then capable hands, where he would be safe from her inexperienced ones.

Her guts twisted violently at the realization that she was running away from the whole situation.  
And Sakura hated herself for it.  
She had promised herself years ago that she would never run away from anything…

Ironing up her willpower, Sakura rolled over and set her alarm clock for the morning.

She _would_ return to the hospital tomorrow…and she was going to crack the enigma that is Gaara.


	5. Chapter 5

**YAY! my english project is done!  
word to the wise: opting to take summer classes is _never_ a good idea...**

**i'm glad to hear that everyone likes my story so far!  
it makes me all fuzzy and warm on the inside...**

**:-)**

* * *

Sakura stormed into Tsunade's office the next morning with new found vigor and grit.  
She _would_ fix Gaara, if it was the last thing she did… 

"I see you've made your decision…" Tsunade said from behind her desk as she folded her hands together in front of her.

Sakura nodded and said, "I'm staying. And I would like to request to work solely on Gaara's case."

Tsunade's eyes widened in surprise as Sakura continued, "I believe that I can fix him. It will take some time of course, but it will only take longer if I'm distracted by other patients. If I'm only involved in Gaara's case, then I think by the time my internship is done, he will either be completely cured or at least will be at a level where he can leave the hospital and function normally in society."

"Is that so?"

Sakura nodded once again.

"And what makes you suddenly so confident in your abilities? After all, yesterday you almost undid everything we've fixed so far."

"Because like you said yesterday, I'm good at what I do. I'm the top in my class, I have more experience hours then anyone as well. Besides, Gaara responds to me differently then he does everyone else, you said so yourself. If this wasn't true, you would have never let me have that session with him yesterday…after all, how many new people does he actually talk to?" Sakura smirked at her boss.

Taking a deep breath, Tsunade smiled at Sakura from behind her folded hands. "Very well then Sakura, you are now in charge of Gaara and Gaara alone. But I want you to report to me periodically and update me on what you've been doing with him and how he's responding."

Sakura nodded once again and said, "Yes, Tsunade. Thank you."

Tsunade unfolded her hands and went back to the work she was doing before Sakura entered her office.

"You'll find Gaara in his room." Tsunade said as she scribbled something down in a file. "But be careful, he's not sedated today…so be aware of your surroundings at all times."

Sakura turned to walk out of the office, but stopped in the doorway.  
Remembering something that she wanted to ask Tsunade, she asked, "Does Gaara get any visitors?"

Shaking her head, Tsunade replied, "No. The only visitors he's ever had was the two times his siblings came to see him."

"But then…yesterday when I was cleaning up his room, he had a flower vase with fresh cut flowers…who brought those to him?"

Tsunade stopped her writing and closed her eyes, when she opened them, they were focused on Sakura in the doorway.

"I did."

Sakura gaped at her boss, "_You_ did?"

Tsunade nodded, "I've known Gaara for sixteen years now, Sakura. We've developed somewhat of a bond, albeit a very dysfunctional bond at best, but a bond nonetheless. I'm the closest thing to a family that he has. I've seen him everyday since he's been here…he means a lot to me. Which is why I was so angry with you yesterday for being so careless. My hope is that someday he'll leave this place and start a normal life of his own. That man has so much potential…I'd hate to see it rot away in this place."

Sakura smiled somewhat and nodded at Tsunade in understanding.

Tsunade then shooed her away with her hand, "Now get going, it's too early to be this emotional."

* * *

As she made her way to room 201, she tried to think of ways that she could get Gaara to trust her…  
or at the very least, not throw an object at her when he saw her in his current non-sedated state… 

When she reached his door, she decided that she would let Gaara make the first move.  
After all, that's what this was going to come down to, who made the moves and how the other reacted to the move made.

Not knowing the protocol for entering patients' rooms…Sakura didn't know whether or not she should knock or just enter.  
Deciding that it was safer to knock, since it would let Gaara know that someone was coming, she rapped on the door a few times.

Nothing.

Silence greeted her from the other side of the door; and she didn't hear any movements coming from within the room either.  
Waiting a few more seconds, Sakura knocked again.

Still nothing.

Figuring that ultimately she would have to make the first move to actually enter the room, Sakura slowly twisted the door knob and let the door swing open slowly while she waited out in the hallway.  
She had made the first move, and now she had to wait to see how Gaara would react to it.

The first thing she saw was Gaara sitting in a new desk chair staring straight at her.  
She saw as his eyes went from bored, to surprised, to angry all within a two second time frame.  
Dangerous mood swings his file had said…that was putting it lightly.

But she wouldn't falter.  
She held his gaze.

It was his turn to make the move…like a chess game.  
Each player moving their pieces around on the board, trying to get to the other person's king…trying to get under each other's skin.

She didn't know how long she stood there for.

A minute, two minutes, maybe even five; all the while, Gaara just sat there, legs folded underneath him on the chair.  
Staring.  
Sizing her up.  
Looking deep within her…Sakura could have sworn she felt her soul shift uncomfortably as his eyes penetrated it.

Finally his low raspy voice said, "What do _you_ want."

It wasn't a question.  
She couldn't help but notice that extra sinister emphasis he put on the word 'you'…

Lamely she replied, "I'm here to see you."

Shifting in his chair so that his feet were on the ground, he replied without changing his dead facial expression, "Gaara's not here right now. But when he gets back, I'll let you know."

_Did he just make a joke?_ she asked herself, _or does he truly believe that he's someone else right now?  
_Sakura searched her mind, sifting through the information from his file that she had gleamed over…she didn't remember any kind of report or note on multiple personalities…

Deciding to test him a little, she muttered, "I didn't know you were a funny."

"I'm not."

The air hung between them like dead men dangling from nooses.

Changing her stance from one foot to the other she asked, "Can I come in?"

"No."

_Okay…at least he's talking. They're only a few words, but he's talking…that's a good sign right?_

Sakura took a cautious step forward and closed the door behind her.

"Do you always impose on other people?" he asked her, leaning forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees.

"No, I don't. I always respect people's wishes."

"Then why did you just ignore mine?"

She was cornered.  
By choosing to ignore his request for her to stay out, she had unwillingly just walked into a verbal trap.  
Either way she chose to answer the question, she was letting Gaara know that she didn't see him as a person…

"This is my room…" he growled, sending her a death glare.

Predatory.  
Just like an animal.

"This room belongs to the hospital." she countered.

"But I live here. So that makes it mine. And I told you to stay out."

"You also said that Gaara wasn't here." she offered, trying to find a way out. "So if Gaara isn't here…who is?"

"Don't." he said, waving her away with a motion of his hand.

"Don't what?"

"Don't try to psychoanalyze me. You're not a therapist."

"But I _am_ a doctor."

"You're a _medical_ doctor," he pointed out. "And I'm not hurt, so leave."

Sakura's gaze drifted to the bandage that was still wrapped around his head from yesterday.

Deciding that changing the topic was in her best interest, but not wanting him to stop talking, she asked, "How does your head feel?"

A glare was his only answer.

Her gaze then drifted to his still unwrapped stitched up hand, and she tried again, "And your hand, how does that feel?"

"You're wasting your time." he said, leaning back in the chair.

"With what?"

"Me."

"Why's that? Do you think you're not worth saving?"

That got her a reaction.  
Gaara rolled his eyes and folded her arms over his chest, "You're in over your head little girl. It won't work."

_Little girl!?_ Sakura's eye twitched in annoyance.

"You know, you're not the first new doctor that Tsunade has tried on me…" he continued. "They all tried what you're trying, and they all ran away, tails tucked between their legs."

He's good at manipulating people Tsunade had said…and he was playing with her like a puppet.  
Appealing to her fears and apprehensions about the whole internship situation.  
It made Sakura wonder if _she _had a file of her own, and Gaara had somehow gotten a hold of it.

"What are you implying?" she asked.

He shrugged from his chair, "I'm simply saying that you're not special. I can do the same to you…"

"Really…" she asked, finding her way out of the corner she was in and also a way under his skin at the same time.

_Two can play at this game, _she thought.

Gaara smirked at her.

"That's funny…because all I have to do is reach out and touch you in order to reduce you into a drug induced zombie."

His eyes darkened.  
Simultaneously, the atmosphere in the room became heavier.  
She was sure that the seventh circle of hell would look like heaven when compared to the wrath that was held in his glare…

Silence enveloped them once again.

She watched as he fidgeted at the memory of yesterday's session, rubbing his hands over the area where she had touched him.  
The aftermath of yesterday was still affecting him.

"You can't fix me." he said again, rubbing harshly at his wrists.

She watched as his actions went from gently rubbing, to pressured rubbing, to scratching.

"You can't be fixed because you think you can't be, or because you don't want to be?" Sakura asked, mesmerized by his itching…and dammit, now she was starting to itch as well.

Gaara seemed lost in his thoughts as he scratched and stared at the floor.

"The all break in the end…" he muttered more to himself then to her.

Unknowingly, he had lifted up his sleeve during one of the upward motions of his hand and Sakura gasped when she saw red marks there.

"What happened to your wrists?!" she gaped, holding herself back from rushing forward to him once again.

Gaara snapped out of his thoughts and refocused onto her.  
His brow crinkled slightly as he pulled up his sleeves and revealed to her deep scratch marks on his wrists.  
They hadn't been there when Sakura was cleaning up his room…he must have done it after she left.

"What did you do?" she asked, wrapping her hand around her wrist gingerly, as if it was her own wrists that were scratched raw.

"They wouldn't stop tingling." he said simply. "So I made it stop."

It scared her how quickly he could switch from vindictive asshole to innocent child in mere moments.

Knowing that she was the one who had caused that tingling and thus the scratches on his wrists, she replied with a simple "Well…stop it!"

"Why?"

"Because it's not good to hurt yourself…it's…"

"Crazy?" he finished for her.  
He threw a small smirk her way and then continued, "That's not what I meant when I asked you why. I meant _why_ do you care if I hurt myself? You don't know me. You don't know the things I've done…I might deserve all of this for all you know."

Now she was getting somewhere.

"What have you done?" she pried. "_Do_ you deserve this?"

He shot up from his seat and pressed her against the wall.  
Although he never touched her, Sakura pressed herself against the cold surface as his sinister aura bared down on her and she found it hard to breathe.  
He snarled down at her, teeth bared, hands on either side of her head pressed against the wall, his body arched in a way that was animalistic yet standoffish at the same time.

The hair on Sakura's arms stood at attention and her skin tingled with the promise of physical pain.

"I deserve the harshest punishment in the deepest circle of hell for what I've done." he hissed.

His breath washing over her skin, causing goosebumps to form.

She didn't ask him why.  
She couldn't ask him why…her voice was being strangled in her throat as she struggled to keep her poise, judgment, and awareness in check.  
And frankly, at that moment, she didn't _want_ to know why.

He watched her for a few seconds.  
Watched her writhe under him like a worm impaled onto a hook.  
Watched as her self-given power over him leaked from every pore on her body, leaving her skin glossy.  
He silently wondered if her sweat tasted as salty as his did…

Pushing himself away from her slowly he said in his normal flat tone, "You don't know anything about me. So don't pretend like you do."

"Then tell me." she said, finding her voice once again, even though it still sounded pinched.

"I'm going outside." he said as he turned his back on her, completely ignoring her request. _Don't_ follow me."

When the door closed behind him, Sakura sank to the ground, using the wall as a guide on the way down.  
Never in all of her life had she ever experienced anything so petrifying, anything so doubtful, anything so…_intense._

Her knees shook and she knew that any attempt at walking would cause her to land in a heap onto the cold floor.  
He was quickly gaining power over her, and she had to find a way to stop this upward gradient; otherwise she would lose all control.

* * *

She hurriedly walked to a large dirty window that overlooked the hospital's grounds and scanned for red hair…but she didn't see him. 

Sighing, she thought, _He probably just told me he was going outside so that I would go out there and lose him completely. _

Leaning her forehead against the glass, she closed her eyes in thought. _How am I going to get him to trust me? _

"Trouble already?" Tsunade's voice said from behind Sakura.

Snapping her eyes opened, she turned to face the woman standing behind her with files in her arms.

"Not really…" Sakura lied, "I'm just trying to figure out a way for him to open up to me and to stop lying to me."

Tsunade raised her eyebrows in surprise, "He lied to you?"

Sakura nodded and motioned towards the window, "He said that he was going outside, but he's not out there. How am I going to get him to open up when he won't even tell me where he's really going?"

Tsunade chuckled and stepped towards the window, "Oh, he's out there. He just doesn't want to be found is all. Gaara may have an unstable personality, but one thing you can always trust him to give you is the truth. In all the years I've known him, he's never told a single lie."

Sakura stared at her boss, silently willing her to continue and soaking up every single word that she was offering.

Tsunade smiled slightly, keeping her gaze out the window and continued, "The thing I've learned about Gaara is that when he doesn't want you to know something, you'll never know it; and when he doesn't want to be found, you'll never find him…until he wants you to."

"Great…" Sakura muttered under her breath, earning her another chuckle from Tsunade.

"Give it time. Who knows, maybe someday he will open up to you when you least expect it. The first thing you have to do is show him that you trust him."

Sakura balked at that, "You want me to trust _him_. He's more likely to kill me before I can even begin doing that…"

"He won't hurt you as long as you weigh each word and movement with him carefully. Besides, if you don't trust him, how can you expect him to trust you? It's just like with everyone else."

_But Gaara's NOT everyone else…_Sakura thought.

She suddenly became aware of the usual shuffling and low mumbling in the hallway becoming louder and more frequent; and she realized that it was time for lunch already.

"Tsunade, will you eat lunch with me? You could tell me anything else you know about Gaara that could possibly give me a leg up…" Sakura all but pleaded the woman.

Tsunade reflected for a few moments and then slowly nodded. "I don't know much, but I know a few things that could help you out."

Sakura smiled at her and motioned her towards the cafeteria.

Once they had gotten their food and taken a seat at one of the lunch tables reserved for doctors only, Sakura found that her appetite has been completely annihilated by the smell, color, and texture of the so-called food in front of her.

Tsunade chuckled at Sakura's reaction and said, "Lots of people complain about how bad hospital food is…I always tell them to eat at a _mental_ hospital once, and they'll soon come to crave regular hospital food."

Sakura couldn't disagree with her.

Pulling her attention away from the greenish-brown mush that was supposed to be meatloaf, Sakura focused on Tsunade and asked, "So what do you know about Gaara?"

Taking a small, thoughtful bite out of her food, Tsunade replied, "I don't know much more from what's already in his file and from what I just told you out in the hallway…but I _do _know that he likes to read."

Sakura's eyes widened in surprise.

"What does he read?" she asked.

"Anything." Tsunade shrugged. "He doesn't sleep much. In fact, he's never really been much of a sleeper. He can stay up all night simply reading a book. I've seen him read everything from comic books to the medical books that I have in my office. Anything that he can get his hands on, he'll read."

"So that's why he's got those dark rings around his eyes…his sleep schedule is irregular."

Tsunade nodded, taking another bite out of her lunch, "Ever since he's been here I've been trying to find ways to get him to sleep more…but nothing's worked. I can't say that I blame him though, it has to be hard to get a good night's sleep when the people in the rooms next to you are either crying or screaming about invisible bugs that are crawling on them…"

"Yeah…" Sakura responded as she rolled her fork over the meat cube on her tray.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Tsunade said as she reached for one of the folders she was carrying around with her and gave it to Sakura. "That's Gaara's lesson plan for today. I'll give you the rest of the week's tomorrow."

Sakura opened the folder to find page after page of numbers and weird symbols in varying arrays of arrangements staring back at her.

"What _is_ this?" she asked.

"Honestly…I don't know. I took it out of one of the books a friend of mine gave me. He says it's one of the highest math books you can get, so I had no choice but to use it."

"So he's smart too, huh?" Sakura said, staring at her boss from over the folder.

"Smart is putting it lightly. Gaara's a genius, I tested him myself. He got one of the highest scores possible."

"But it's all thanks to you…the file said that you educated him yourself."

Shaking her head, Tsunade replied, "You read that wrong. What I wrote is that I _provided_ the tools needed for his education. I just gave him the books, he figured everything else out from there."

Sakura gaped openly at this new information.

_So he's not just a vindictive masochistic manipulative psycho, _she thought, _he's an extremely INTELLIGENT vindictive masochistic manipulative psycho…_

Tsunade's motion to stand up broke her from her thoughts, "The answer sheet to the problems are in the very back of the folder. The only other advice I can give you is just to relax as much as possible around him. He can sense changes in you even before you can…he's been watching people his whole life."

Then the woman turned and moved to walk away, only to be caught by Sakura once again. "Wait! Tsunade," Sakura said as she attached herself to the woman's coat sleeve.

"Would you mind if I took Gaara's file home again? I'd like to look at it more closely."

"It's all yours, you're in charge of him now." Tsunade said, "Come by my office before you go home and I'll give it to you."

"Thanks Tsunade…" Sakura said, "for everything."

Tsunade nodded at her, and then walked out of the cafeteria.

* * *

Sakura slowly walked across the grassy field, making her way to the nearby tree that would provide her with shade and a place to comfortably sit and wait for Gaara to reveal himself to her. 

Sitting against the trunk, she sighed against it and mulled over what Tsunade had told her.  
She figured the best way to get herself to relax around him, and also for him to open up to her was through conversation.  
And not just through the forced conversation they she had been having with him, but from genuine conversation.  
The kind of conversation where if he didn't feel like talking, then she wouldn't make small talk with him in order to breakup his quite demeanor.

She couldn't openly psychoanalyze him anymore either, that just made him close up tighter.  
She would have to show him that everything was up to him, and that she wasn't going to try to force his hand anymore.

Taking a deep breath and inhaling the clean crisp scent of fresh air, and exhaling loudly to expel the old smell of the hospital, Sakura heard a voice from behind her say, "I thought I told you not to follow me."

Sakura jumped in surprise.

Tsunade had been right…he _was_ a good at hiding. He had been there the entire time, and Sakura had no idea.

"I didn't." she said, recollecting her startled wits, "I just came out here to escape the stench of the building."

"Hn." was his response and that was followed up with silence.

Trying to grow accustomed to the silence, something of which Sakura was never comfortable with, she turned her head away from him and tried to relax against the tree once again.

"Is that my lesson plan for today?" Gaara asked, squatting at the junction between a branch and the trunk.

Sakura nodded and waved the folder in the air, "Do you want to do it now?"

Jumping down from the tree, Gaara grabbed the folder out of her hand and snatched a pen out of her coat pocket before she could even react.

Sitting on the grass in front of Sakura and taking the first sheet from the folder, he placed it on top of the harder surface and simply stared at the paper.

Sakura took his absent staring as a sign that he didn't know how to do the problem.  
So she started to say something like "I don't know how to do them either" but was interrupted when Gaara simply scribbled a number down underneath problem one and then continued staring at the paper.

Sakura felt her jaw go slack.

Gaara had just figured out a problem that was considered near impossible to do without scratching out any work for it.

But was it correct?

After about a half hour of staring and quickly writing down the answer, Gaara shoved the paper at her and leaned back on the grass.

Sakura took the sheet and then removed the answer sheet from the folder.  
She quickly ran over the answers and realized that not one of them was incorrect.  
Gaara had gotten every single problem right, and he did all of the work in his head…  
Sakura decided that the title of 'genius' didn't do justice to the going-ons in Gaara's head…

"That's incredible…" she said softly. "You got every one right…"

"I know."

He wasn't a humble genius, that's for sure…

As she put the paper away, Gaara asked from his reclined position, "Why didn't you shoot me up with that drug?"

Startled by such a question, Sakura asked, "What?"

Sitting up so that his elbows and forearms were supporting him, he elaborated, "Back in my room. I had you pinned against the wall, and you didn't reach for the Nembutal in your pocket once. Why?"

"Because I don't think that doctors should use a drug like that unless absolutely necessary."

"Some would call being pushed against the wall a necessary time to use it."

"Not me."

Apparently satisfied with her answer, Gaara fully leaned back onto the lawn once again and stared up at the sky.  
Sakura decided that she wouldn't talk until he initiated conversation again.  
What she didn't know was that she would fall asleep while waiting…

When she woke up, the sun was setting, and Gaara was no where in sight.  
Jumping to her feet and cursing loudly, she hurried inside of the building and rushed to Tsunade's office.

Silently hoping that Tsunade hadn't noticed her lengthy absence, she entered the woman's office.  
She walked in on Gaara sitting on Tsunade's desk, while Tsunade occupied a chair on the opposite side of the room.  
Sakura couldn't help but notice the slight smirk that came to Gaara's eyes when he saw her in her flustered condition.

"I'm heading home now." she told her boss.

Tsunade motioned over to where Gaara was perched and said, "That file that you wanted is on my desk."

Sakura spotted it and walked over to retrieve it.

As she picked it up off of the desk, Gaara slammed his hand down on top of it, causing her to jump once again.

"That's a pretty heavy file…" he mused, "do you think you can handle it?"

Sakura knew that he wasn't talking about the file's physical size…what he was really asking is if she could handle _him._  
He was calling her to a mental battle…and may the one with the strongest will and wit win.

"I can manage." she shortly stated to him, narrowing her eyes slightly.

That smirk appeared in his eyes once again, and he lifted his hand off of the file.  
Sakura cradled the documents into her arms and wished them a both goodnight as she exited out of the office.

"Don't hurt yourself…" Gaara purred evilly after her.

_Stupid, vindictive, sadistic ASSHOLE! _Sakura thought as she exited the building.


	6. Chapter 6

**thanks for all the wonderful reviews and also to those who pointed out some errors and gave me suggestions on how to improve the story! it is all greatly appreciated!**

**:-)**

**

* * *

**

But Sakura _did_ hurt herself.

As soon as she got back to her apartment, she dedicated herself to Gaara's file, and Gaara's file alone.  
She ignored her phone, she never turned on the radio or television, she ignored her growling stomach...she simply read every word in the file and was determined to drain the information from it.

By the time 4 AM rolled around, Sakura's eyes burned from exhaustion and dryness.  
Her muscles were stiff and achy from remaining in the same position for so long.  
Her body buzzed and shook from the overabundance of caffeine that she was pumping into her system.  
Her head pounded from the overload of information that it was being fed.  
But the thing that hurt the most was her ego…it was hurt from the realization that she had just spent all night reading that damn file and had not learned _one_ thing new or important about Gaara.

Deciding that going to sleep was probably pointless since she had to be up in a few hours for work, she got up and ran herself a bath.

Stripping off her clothes, she gently lowered herself into the hot water and felt as all of the aches and pains were drawn out of her muscles and joints.  
Sighing, she leaned her head back against the tub and closed her eyes.  
Her legs and arms slowly drifted to the top of the water as she relaxed and she let her mind drift off into nothingness.  
She felt as if she was wrapped in a cocoon of weightlessness where nothing could touch her.

Baths always helped Sakura relax. They made her feel safe and secure, it was almost like returning to her mother's womb.

Reluctantly, she reopened her eyes and gazed at the clock that was in the bathroom.  
Knowing that she should probably start heading to the hospital, since it never hurt to be early sometimes, she unclogged the drain and watched as the water level around her slowly sank lower and lower.

She watched as the steam from her newly exposed skin drifted up into the air, dancing and intertwining with itself.  
Knowing that she could stay like that forever, she pushed herself out of the tub and wrapped herself inside of her bathrobe.

Stepping into her bedroom, she went through her normal beauty regiment, which wasn't really much of one at all…  
She grabbed some body cream and generously applied it to her skin, threw her wet hair back into a ponytail, and grabbed a clean pair of jeans and a loose long sleeve shirt.  
Next, she walked into the kitchen and poured herself a bowl of cereal. Eating it quickly, she placed the dirty bowl into the sink, pulled on her old sneakers, and grabbed her lab coat and another heavier coat as she walked out the door, locking it behind her.

The sun wasn't up yet, but the air was heavy with a dampness that was carried by the bitter November wind.

_It's going to rain…_Sakura thought sadly.  
She hated the cold more than anything. Remembering how warm she just was in the bathtub, she immediately regretted leaving the warm paradise.

Mumbling curses to herself, she trudged over to her parked car and gradually reversed out of the apartment driveway.

The roads were vacant since it was so early, so Sakura made it to the hospital in record time.  
Pulling into the parking lot, she noticed that there were hardly any cars there.  
The wind was blowing violently now and Sakura's car door was harshly blown open when she attempted to exit her vehicle. Gasping at the sudden jolt, Sakura quickly reached out and grabbed the door before it was blown open too far and the hinges were damaged.  
Forcefully slamming it shut, she clung tightly to her coat in order to keep it firmly around her and to protect her from the cold and cutting wind.

As she approached the hospital, she noticed that there was someone standing by the large metal gates that surrounded the hospital grounds. The person was wearing a knit winter cap and a long trench coat that was blowing violently in the wind, which allowed Sakura to see the skirt and high-heels that the woman was wearing. Judging by her attire, Sakura guessed that the woman was some sort of business type…which made her wonder why she was just standing outside of the hospital.

But the way that the woman was just standing there with her head leaning against the fence reminded her of how Gaara stared out of the windows.

The woman must have sensed Sakura however, because as Sakura approached her, she started to walk away; all the while keeping her face hidden from Sakura.

"Can I help you?" Sakura called after the woman, but her voice was carried away by the wind and never reached the woman who was rapidly putting distance between the two of them.

Shrugging it off, Sakura wrenched the hospital door open and rushed inside before the wind slammed it shut on her.

There was a new receptionist that Sakura had never seen before sitting at the front window.  
Figuring it was the late-night receptionist that was usually replaced by the rude one, Sakura smiled warmly at her and was surprised to receive a warm smile in return instead of the usual cold shoulder.  
Showing the woman her ID, Sakura was immediately buzzed in and heard the woman call down the hallway after her, "Have a good day Miss Haruno."

She decided that taking a quick tour of the hospital was a good idea since she wanted to see who else worked the late night shift.  
She found that there was a drastic difference between the number of workers during the day and night hours. There was only one security guard on duty, and one resident doctor on call.  
The hallways were relatively quiet since most of the occupants of the hospital were still sleeping. There were only a few muffled mumbles and screams coming from some rooms down the residence quarters. Sakura shuddered at the sound and quickened her trek down the dark hall.

Since she was in that wing of the hospital anyways, Sakura decided that it wouldn't hurt to go check on Gaara. She figured that she would take a quick look into the little window that every door had and then continue on.

When his door came into sight, however, she noticed that there was a light on inside.

_He can't be awake already…_she thought to herself as she quietly peeked into the window.

Inside of the room she saw Gaara sitting on his bed reading a book while the desk lamp that was on cast long shadows onto the floor.

The few seconds that she was going to spend checking on him stretched to a few minutes.  
She had become transfixed by him onec again...  
She watched his mouth remain in the same flat line that it always was in, watched as his eyes traveled back and forth across the pages, couldn't help but admire how the light hit his skin, how it illuminated his red hair yet cast dark romantic shadows over his face…

Sakura stopped her thought pattern immediately.

Closing her eyes and placing her palm onto her forehead, she pulled her thoughts away from Gaara the _man_ and tried to see him as Gaara her _patient_.

_I have to stop thinking about him like that…_she told herself. _He's my patient, I'm responsible for him…doctors don't lust after their patients._

The sound of door hinges creaking open pulled her away from her thoughts and Sakura snapped her eyes open and found herself face to face with Gaara.

"Are you going to stand out here all day?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest.

Sakura stuttered a few syllables to stall for time since she really didn't know what to say. She had been caught staring at him. Which meant that he was going to flip out on her…  
She tensed her muscles and waited for the attack…but it never game.

He just continued to lean against the doorframe, watching her through a sideways glance.

"You're…not mad?" Sakura asked, relaxing a little when she noticed that he was being his usual standoffish self.

"About what?"

"I…I was watching you. I thought you don't like people staring at you?"

Pushing himself off of the frame and reentering into his room, he replied, "I don't."

Sakura watched from the door as he simply reseated himself onto the bed and started reading again.

Carefully taking a step into the room, she asked, "So then why aren't you mad at me?"

Gaara didn't answer her this time though, he just kept reading.

Knowing that there was no way that she was going to get anything out of him now, and wondering just how close she had gotten to actually getting something productive out of him…she changed the topic, "What are you reading?"

He didn't answer her verbally, but he _did_ tilt the cover of the book up slightly so that she could see it.  
Unfortunately, it was positioned at such an angle where the desk light hit it and all Sakura could see was a glare.

Curious, she took a step forward which caused Gaara to immediately stop reading and stare at her once again.

Lifting her arms up in surrender, Sakura said, "I just want to see what you're reading, that's all…"  
Then she took another careful step towards him.

Gaara calculated each step and gaged the size of each to judge just how much closer it would bring her to him, and just how close he would let her come. After she took one more step, he decided that she was close enough and would answer her verbally instead of risking the chance of more physical contact.

"Les Miserables". he said as he threw the book onto the floor, right in front of her.

Sakura winced at the loud slapping noise the hardcover book made on the tile floor.

_That was one step closer then yesterday…_she thought. _Maybe I'm making some progress after all. Besides, he didn't hit me with the book…"_

Bending down slowly being careful not to make any sudden movments, she picked the heavy book up off of the floor and opened it to a random page.  
Jumbled letters and accent marks greeted her on every line.

"You know French?!" Sakura exclaimed as she flipped through the book looking for an English translation.

"No." he said flatly. "I enjoy staring at words that mean absolutely nothing to me."

Halting her flipping, she looked at him and said, "I don't appreciate your sarcasm."

"And I don't appreciate your stupidity." he snapped back.

Anger stewed in her chest, "I am _not_ stupid." she hissed between her teeth.

Gaara sat up on his bed and leaned against the wall. Bringing his legs to his chest, he rested his arms on his knees and studied her, smirking the entire time.

Noticing this, Sakura realized that he was playing a game with her…a little game called Push-Sakura's-Buttons.

He was testing her.  
Seeing how long it would take her to get angry and storm out of the room, leaving him to himself once again.

_He wants me to get angry. He wants me to quit. He wants me to fail…_ Taking a deep breath to calm her temper, she looked at him calmly and held the book out to him, "Here."

Waving the book away he yawned, "Put it on the desk. I'm done reading."

Deciding not to argue with him on the finer points of manners, she did as she was told and then decided to let him decide what he was going to do next.

To her surprise and dismay, he remained sitting on his bed, staring at the floor blankly.  
If Sakura didn't know any better, she would have thought he was drugged once again.

Knowing that she shouldn't interrupt him by attempting some sort of dialogue, she hoisted herself up onto the desk and waited for him to make the next move in the game.

Silence surrounded them for an hour and a half.  
Gaara remained in the same contemplative position, while Sakura wanted to wrap herself up in a straightjacket.  
Silence was one thing that Sakura hated almost as much as the cold…it always made situations feel awkward.  
She always tried to make small talk with people…but she knew that by doing that with Gaara she would be forcing herself onto him, and that's not what she wanted.

He had to come to _her._

Just when she thought she was going to have her own mental breakdown, there was a short knock on the door as it was swung open.  
In walked in a very wet Tsunade.

"What happened to you?!" Sakura exclaimed.

Tsunade looked at her as if she was crazy and replied, "It's pouring rain outside!"

"It is? It wasn't when I got here this morning…" Sakura trailed off, realizing just how isolated the patients really were from the outside world.

"It started raining a half hour ago…and I got this wet running from my car to the front entrance." Tsunade said as she stripped off her top coat and wrung out her hair.

Gaara immediately stood up and walked out of the room.

"Don't be out too long." Tsunade called after him, "I don't need you getting sick!"

If Gaara heard her, he didn't show it in anyway.

Sakura was still marveling at the solititude the patients lived in when Tsunade interrupted her thoughts.

"What are you doing here so early?" Tsunade asked her as she gathered up her wet jacket and started to walk out of Gaara's room.

"I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep, so I figured I'd get a head start over here," Sakura lied.

"Why did you come straight to Gaara's room from your car?" Sakura asked.

Tsunade shrugged as she walked down the hallway, "He likes the rain. So I always tell him when it's raining so that he can go out and enjoy it."

Sakura followed Tsunade into her office and sat down in one of the chairs while the older woman situated herself.

"What's the plan for today?" Tsunade asked her as she pulled files out of the many cabinets situated around the office and placed them onto her desk.

"I'm going to try to have another session with Gaara, but I'm not going to force him to. Other then that, I was planning on just observing him all day." Biting her lower lip as she thought, she added, "This hospital has a library, right?"

Tsunade nodded.

"Then can I see the list of books that Gaara has checked out?"

Tsunade looked up at her and said, "I can give you a list of all of the books that have been checked out since Gaara was admitted here, but we don't keep individual patient records on what books they check out…"

Sakura's heart sank when she imagined just how long that list was going to be…but if it helped her figure out Gaara more, she would suffer through it.

"I'll need those." she said confidently.

Tsunade nodded at her request and jotted down a quick note to remind herself to pull those up for her.

"Anything else?" she inquired with the pen still in her hand floating above the sticky note.

Sakura shook her head 'no' and gave Tsunade a quick farewell as she exited out of her office in search of Gaara.

* * *

Not wanting to venture out into the cold rain to find Gaara, Sakura scanned the grounds through the large window once again; only this time, she found him right away.  
He was just standing out in the middle of the field, not protecting himself from the rain or the wind. Sakura looked worriedly at the window as the rain pelted against it loudly.

A mob of patients trudged by her as they exited their rooms and rushed to the cafeteria for breakfast.

Deciding that she would try to convince Gaara to come inside so that he wouldn't get sick, she retrieved her coat from his room and pulled it tightly around her, pulling her hood far down over her face.

Her shoes squished into the grass as she stepped onto it and she heard as the wind hissed at her through the small gaps in her coat.  
The wind cut deep into her core and she knew that it was going to take a while before she warmed up again.

She walked up to Gaara's soaked form so that she was close enough for him to hear her yell over the wind, "Gaara! Come inside! Breakfast is being served."

But Gaara didn't move from where he was standing, he didn't even move to acknowledge her presence.

Sakura thought that maybe he hadn't heard her, so she stepped closer to him.  
It was the closest she had been to him since the day she actually touched him. All she had to do was reach her arm out slightly and she would make contact with him.

She watched as rain cascaded down his skin and dripped off of him, covering his body in a wet and cold shield-like entity.

"I'm not mad at you for watching me because you weren't looking at me like _that._" he mumbled.

Shocked that he had spoken to her and actually _opened up_ to her, Sakura pressed the issue, "Like what?"

Gaara moved his head slightly so that he could give her a sideways glare and answered, "Like I'm crazy."  
And then slowly turned around to go back inside.

Sakura followed behind him, slowly picking up the pace in order to rush him inside quicker…but she was no longer worried about his physical health, but was concentrating completely on what he had just told her.

Once inside, she stripped off her coat and hung it up on one of the hooks that were hung by the doors and did a quick scan of Gaara.  
To her surprise, he wasn't shaking at all…in fact, he seemed fine and not at all phased by the temperature or the wetness.

She opened her mouth to ask him another question, but Gaara was already halfway down the hall moving towards his room before she could get a single word out.

* * *

Sakura was cold for the rest of the day, which she spent keeping a fair distance from Gaara as she watched him either read or stare out of the window with unfocused eyes.  
It was clear to her that he was done talking for the day, so she didn't press him.  
He was slowly coming around and she would allow him to keep things at his own pace.

But she couldn't help but think how sad he looked leaning against the window as the rain slid down it.  
A large part of her wanted to go over and wrap herself around him in order to fix whatever was causing this silent servitude.

But she didn't.

She reminded herself over and over again that she _couldn't_ do that.

After Gaara had went into his room for the night, Sakura said goodbye to him, to which she didn't get a reply, and then went to Tsunade's office to pick up the papers that she had asked for earlier.

To her dismay, Sakura was handed a large cardboard box full of loose papers.

Grunting her farewell as she picked up the box, she slowly made her way to her car and was relieved at the fact that it had finally stopped raining and she didn't have to worry about the papers getting ruined.

Upon entering her apartment, she placed the box next to her couch and decided that before she tackled that project, she was going to go warm up in the shower.

She simply stood underneath the hot stream of water as it coated her skin with that familiar warmness once again.  
Sighing at the heat, Sakura silently wondered how Gaara, or anyone for that matter, could tolerate that cold rain…just a few minutes out there turned her into a shivering wreck.  
Reminding herself that Gaara _was_ in a mental institution, and figuring that that was a good enough explanation as to why he liked the cold rain, she let the subject go.  
But then what he had told her popped into her head, _Because you weren't looking at me like that…like I'm crazy._ Sakura had thought about what he had said and couldn't make anything out of it…did Gaara really think that he wasn't crazy? And if he did, then why didn't he check himself out of the hospital? It just didn't make any sense to her…

_But at least he opened up to me._ she thought as she turned off the water and dried herself off. _It's something…I'll take it, for now._

Quickly dressing herself into her favorite pair of pajamas, which consisted of a loose baggy sweatshirt and a pair of her college sweatpants, she made herself some hot coffee and brought it over to Gaara's file and the newly required box.  
She quickly jotted down what Gaara had said and then opened the box to begin another long night of looking over countless pages with the hope of finding the key to Gaara's illness.


	7. Chapter 7

**here's the next chapter ladies (and gents?), hope you like it. i don't know why there wasn't an alert for chapter 6...i blame it on technology hating me.**

**thanks for the reviews! **

**:-)**

**and i just realized i never put a disclaimer up...but i'm sure you all know that i don't own Naruto at this point haha.**

* * *

"You look tired." Gaara said the next day during a session.  
Sakura couldn't help but notice the smirk that graced his mouth as he said it. 

They were back in the room where she had naively touched him, only this time they were sitting a little bit closer to each other.  
Gaara still sat himself on the windowsill, but Sakura was seated in the chair right next to him.

Stifling a yawn with the back of her hand she said, "I _am_ tired. I haven't slept these last two nights." She looked right at him and added, "_Someone _has an extensive file."

He huffed at her and returned his gaze to the window, "No one said you had to read it."

"It's my job, Gaara."

"No one said you had to take the job."

She sighed and shook her head at him, "Would you rather have Tsunade here instead of me? Because that can be arranged…all you have to do is say so."

Gaara made a small move which could have been interpreted as a shrug, "It doesn't really matter…but between the two of you, I'd rather have you because you don't talk as much as she does."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, leaning forward in the chair.

He let out a sigh and swung his legs over so that they were dangling off of the windowsill and kicking against the wall lightly, "Somewhere Tsunade and I reversed roles with each other, so whenever we have a session she talks and I listen. I don't mind it really, it just bothers me that she thinks I'm the only one that can solve things for her. All she has to do is talk to anyone who will listen and whatever was bothering her will be solved."

Sakura smiled slightly at how simple his idea of solving problems was and said, "You make it sound so easy…"

"It is. All people really want is to be heard. Once they're heard they're content."

"But you won't tell anyone _your_ story," she prodded.

He swung his legs back up so that he was sitting the way he was before and said, "That's why I'm in the nuthouse, because I don't _want_ to tell my story."

Knowing by now that after that short insightful dialogue, a long period of hellish silence would follow…so Sakura took the moment to study Gaara.  
He was wearing a black t-shirt with jeans today, and she was able to see that the scratches on his wrists were now scabbed over and healing. She saw the stitches on the inside of his hand as well and made a mental note to jot down on her calendar when to remove them. He had also removed the bandages on his head and Sakura could once again see his scar.  
She watched as his eyes drifted lazily back and forth, silently taking in the scene of the field in front of him.

Taking a deep breath, she decided that she would attempt to start a conversation with him…one that she had been working on inside of her head the whole car ride there that morning.

"I did some research…" she started, and she watched as Gaara slightly tilted his head towards her to signal that he was listening.

Encouraged, she continued, "According to the library records, you've checked out every book in the library."

Gaara nodded to answer her question, never taking his eyes off of the field.

"I have some books at my house that you haven't read yet. If you want, I could bring some in and you could have some more reading material."

It was a long shot.  
One that she braced herself to fail at...but at least she could tell herself that she had tried.

"What kind of books do you have?" he asked her, still not moving.

Surprised at the question, since she was expecting a short and agitated 'no', she fumbled with her words, "Well...um…let's see…I have a complete collection of Edgar Allen Poe's work, a few medical books, and also about a dozen fiction books that the library here doesn't have."

Gaara went silent once again. Sakura figured that he was thinking about her offer and waited patiently for his answer.

"Bring them tomorrow." he said finally.

Sakura's heart skipped, and she didn't even try to hide her excitement at his agreeing to let her do this for him.  
To him it may have just been exchanging books, but to her it was one step closer to getting him to trust her, one step closer to a breakthrough, and one step closer to touching him…

"I'll bring one in tomorrow," Sakura said as she adjusted her seating position, her voice bubbling over with joy. "Once you're done with that book, I'll bring that one home and give you another one."

Gaara took his sight off of the outside and stared at her with an expression that Sakura couldn't quite place.  
It was a mixture between curiosity and confusion.  
_  
He's probably never seen someone so happy before…_she thought to herself.

"Do you have a request for the first book I bring in?" she asked, flashing him a bright smile.

Gaara's look deepened at her smile but was quickly replaced by his usual deadpan face.

"Poe." he said quietly, returning his gaze to the window.

"I should have known…" Sakura mused as she jotted down the note to herself.

Encouraged by his unexpected interaction, Sakura decided to try out another conversation that she had been playing around with inside of her head...

"Do you ever think about getting out of here?" she asked him softly, resting her elbows on her knees.

Gaara simply shook his head 'no'.

Not happy with the lack of response from him, she pressed further, "You do know that your disorders are treatable, right? Social anxiety can be conditioned to the point where it's not such a big deal, and your attatchment disorder can be cured as soon as…"

"I want it to be." Gaara finished for her. "I know. Tsunade told me years ago."

"Then why are you still here?" Sakura asked. "Don't you want to get out of here and live a normal life?"

Gaara only shrugged, "I have no reason to leave. I enjoy the distance that people keep from me here."

"But don't you miss that contact and interaction between people?"

"No."

Sakura was becoming frustrated with him.  
Rolling her eyes and sitting back in the chair once again she muttered, "I don't know why I even try…"

"I told you not to."

His statement forced her to let out an exasperated sigh as she glared daggers at him, "Well excuse me if I'm not ready to let you fade away in this place…"

He shrugged at her and silence once again dominated the room.

She resumed watching Gaara again.  
She noticed as his eyes focused on something outside. She waited for a few minutes and noticed that his eyes were still transfixed onto whatever it was he was looking at. Shifting in her seat in order to discreetly catch a glimpse of what he was looking at, she soon discovered that at the angle her chair was placed in all she would be able to see out of the window was the vacant lackluster field.

Furrowing her brow in thought, she analyzed Gaara and tried to think of an excuse to get closer to him so that she could see what he was looking at…but she had to find a way to do it without alarming him to her nearing proximity _and_ without him finding out what she was really trying to do.

Then it hit her…his stitches! She could say that she wants to look at them and then in the process she could nonchalantly see what he was looking at.

"Gaara," she said as she stood up slowly, "I want to see how your stitches are doing."

She waited for his reply, but it never came.  
Thinking that maybe he was lost in his thoughts, Sakura opened her mouth to repeat herself when she was interrupted by Gaara.

"You could just ask."

Sakura looked at him confused and replied, "I just did."

Gaara sighed and rolled his eyes in agitation, "You doctors think you're so sly…"

"What are you talking about?" she asked as she felt her fist tighten in agitation.

"You don't care about my stitches…you just want to find out what I'm looking at."

Sakura's jaw dropped opened in surprise. _How did he know?_ she asked herself.

"You could just ask." he repeated, keeping his gaze out of the window.

Knowing that admitting her error was the best course of action in this situation, Sakura sighed and said, "Fine. What are you looking at?"

Gaara smirked and shrugged as he stood up from the window and walked towards the door.  
Sakura glanced at the clock and noticed that it was lunch time already.  
She watched Gaara's retreating back and waited for him to tell her, _prayed_ for him to tell her. If he opened up now, she would be able to gage just how much trust he had in her…  
"I was looking at an apology." his voice said from the doorway before he disappeared into the rapidly filling hallway.

Sakura had a extreme urge to chuck her pen at his head.  
_Great, _she thought, _now he's talking in riddles…_

As soon as he was out of sight, Sakura dashed toward the window and gazed out of it.  
Nothing caught her attention.  
There wasn't anything different out there…except for the two people standing by the fence.

Sakura squinted her eyes to see better, and she recognized one of them as the woman she had seen the morning earlier!  
She recognized the trench coat, only today the woman was wearing jeans and she wasn't wearing her hat so her messy short blonde hair blew slightly in the fall breeze.  
Squinting harder, she saw a man wearing a black hooded jacket standing next to her. The two stood there for a little while longer and then peeled away from the fence and started to walk away.  
Sakura watched them as they disappeared into the distance.

_An apology? _she thought as they became smaller and smaller…_what is he talking about?_

* * *

For the next two weeks, Sakura kept a lookout for the mysterious duo.  
Maybe if she saw them again she could ask them who they were and then drain them for any information they may have on Gaara… 

She tried asking Gaara about them, but he would either ignore her questions or change the topic completely.

But Sakura _was_ encouraged by the fact that Gaara was starting to talk more and more in and out of sessions.  
Sakura wouldn't really call it 'warming up to her' since she still received many cold statements and death glares, but he was slowly coming around.

Plus he was running out of things to watch from the window since all of the leaves on the trees were gone. December was now upon them. It felt like it was going to be a warm winter since it still hadn't snowed yet, but that didn't mean that it wasn't cold out.  
Sakura couldn't wait for spring to come back…

Whenever they did talk during sessions, it was hardly ever about Gaara.  
Usually he would share stories about other patients in the hospital and why they were there or some weird thing they did one day…some were pretty amusing and Sakura often found herself laughing at his stories.

At first her laughter caused him to stop and stare at her, watching her to make sure she was okay.  
But once he started to equate her laughter with happiness however, Sakura found that he would deliberately tell her a funny story at some point during their sessions.  
But the way that Gaara talked about the others only reminded Sakura that Gaara distanced himself even with the people that he had been living with for years.

"Gaara," she asked late one night while they were both sitting next to each other on the windowsill. She found that she was staying later and arriving earlier each day just to spend time with him. "Do you ever think about your future?"

Gaara shifted in his seat and shook his head 'no'.

"Why not?"

"It's hard to think of a future for yourself when all you see is weekly injections of Nembutal and daily sessions with a doctor."

"They still give you Nembutal?" she asked him surprised.  
She hadn't been aware of that…she figured that they had stopped giving that to him since she was now in charge of his case.

Gaara turned his arm around and presented her with the vein that they usually stuck him in. "It's a very small dose and it's only once a week, which is less then what I used to get."

"I…I didn't know…" she stuttered as she reached out to touch his reddened vein.  
There were bruises up and down his arm from where they had not so gently grabbed his arm and shoved the needle into his body.

"Don't." He hissed as her hand neared his arm.  
She watched as his arm muscles shifted and tightened in aggitation.

"I was only trying to help you," she said as drew back her hand. "Your vein looks agitated."

"Help me?" he hissed as he brought his jagged gaze to meet hers, "I already told you, _no one _can help me."

"But…" Sakura started, stunned by his sudden shift to anger.

"But what? You thought you were different? Is that what you were going to say?"

Sakura could tell that he was getting worked up and that it would only lead to disaster in the end…she had to find a way to diffuse him, but she was stuck between a rock and a hard place.  
If she didn't finish her thought, he would call her a coward and she would lose some of the respect that she had gained from him.  
On the other hand, if she admitted that that's what she was thinking, he would reprimand her for her ego…

Sakura chose the lesser of the two evils as she nodded a firm 'yes' to his question.

He scoffed at her and said, "Your ego astounds me."

"It's not so much my ego but what you've led me to believe." Sakura shot back at him, the intensity in her eyes almost matching his. There was no way she was laying down for this one…after all, she was only trying to help him.

Waving away her statement, he replied, "I didn't lead you to believe anything."

"Then why do you talk to me and not to anyone else? Why don't you attack me when I cross the line? Why do you let me sit so close to you?"

"I talk to Tsunade." he pointed out defensively, his gaze sharpening further.

Sakura braced herself for a physical attack, but kept pushing back at him.  
She was determined to win this mental battle…

"I've talked to Tsunade and she says that it took her _years_ to get you to open up to her like you have for me…and it's only been about a month since I've started working with you. Besides, you even said yourself that she's the one that talks during the sessions while you listen."

She noticed how his muscles twisted and tightened.  
She noticed the slow upward motion of his lip as he openly growled at her.  
She noticed how his jaw tightened as his eyes promised her an unlimited amount of agony…but she forced his reaction out of her mind. She refused to let it phase her, if she was going to get anywhere with him then she knew that she couldn't always back down whenever he showed aggressive behavior.  
She stood her ground as she crossed her arms over his chest, challenging him.

"Why am I different?"

He growled louder at her, "You're _not._"

She could almost feel the hate that was radiating off of him.

Inwardly she questioned herself and wondered if she had pushed him too far…but it was too late now, she had already pushed him this far…she might as well see how hard she could push.

"You're no different from the other doctors who have tried to help me," he hissed.

"It sounds to me like you're just trying to convince yourself of that. Especially since you're avoiding my question."

Gaara moved forward suddenly and Sakura found herself once again pinned against the wall on the windowsill with him looming over her, not daring to touch her.

But this time she wasn't afraid.  
Gazing innocuously at his livid expression, she couldn't help but notice that his hands were slightly touching her hair as he pressed them against the wall on either side of her head.  
She couldn't help but notice that his knees were _almost_ touching the tips of her shoes.  
She couldn't help but notice how his breath washed over her skin as he heavily breathed in and out, obviously trying to hold back his rage.  
She couldn't stop herself from picturing him leaning into her, pinning her against the wall with the full girth of his small frame…

Sakura felt something within her stir and she forced her mind to steer away from the lustful thoughts that she was having once again…

She watched as his eyes wavered from focused to unfocused as he looked at her, As his eyes lingering on some of her body parts longer then others and she knew that he was thinking the same thing.

At first she was surprised by this, but then she reminded herself that Gaara _was _a man… The possibility was there, all she had to do was reach out and grab it.

The idea of her being his first _everything_ excited her. She would not only be the first person that he trusted and that he willingly let touch him, but she would also be his first kiss, his first time, his first…love.  
Did she dare dream that high?  
Could this man in front of her possibly have it in him to love her?  
_It couldn't hurt to try..._she thought.

Watching for how he would react, she started to squirm under him and slightly puffed her chest out as she slowly opened up her bent knees to allow him to draw in closer to her.  
She watched as his eyes went from confused to understanding as she slowly leaned her face closer to his.

He stiffened.  
But he didn't move away, and that encouraged Sakura to lean in more.

She watched his eyes carefully as they widened and wavered at her actions.  
She noticed that he wasn't staring at her, but was focused on some point on the wall behind her.

Not really sure if he was paying attention or not, she gently nudged the tip of her nose against his to see how he would react.  
_If he pulls away I'll stop…_she thought to herself.

He jerked his head back but he kept his hands on either side of her head.  
Since he didn't completely pull away from her, she slowly brought her hand up to his wrist and just barely placed her fingertips onto it.

He was breathing faster, but he still wasn't pulling away.

Sakura tentatively started to press harder onto his wrist and slowly moved her fingertips upwards towards his shoulder.  
When she reached his shoulder, she noticed that his muscles twitched underneath the unfamiliar feel of her hand.  
Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she slowly flattened her hand so that her whole palm was now against his shoulder and her fingers were playing with the unruly shaggy red hair by his neck.

She brought her other hand up his side and under his shirt and slowly began working her fingers in small circular motions on his tight lower back muscles. With her fingers there, she would be able to assess when and if Gaara had had enough.

His eyes were still unnaturally wide and his breathing was still going in and out rapidly, but she felt as his back muscles slowly relaxed and his body started to rock slightly from the pressure of her massage.  
Pushing his arms against the wall, he distanced himself from her again. Closing his eyes and hanging his head slightly, he took long deliberate breaths to calm himself down.

Seeing that he was pulling away from her, Sakura wasn't having any of it.

She pressed her whole hand against his back and tightened her other hand onto his shoulder and gently pulled him in closer to her.

Gaara's eyes snapped open at her boldness.

Dismissing the threatening look that he was giving her, Sakura slowly brought her head to the spot where his shoulder met his neck and lightly brushed her lips against it.  
His breath hitched at her action and his whole body began to shake.

Every inch of her skin that was touching Gaara tingled.  
Realizing why, she mumbled against his neck, "You're so cold…"

His voice was unsteady, but he managed a raspy, "I'm always cold." as he allowed himself to get pulled closer to her.

Removing one of his hands off of the wall, he shakily placed it on her cheek. "You're skin is so warm…" he mumbled as she tilted her face to allow him to trace his fingers down the side of her face and down to her neck and collarbone.

It was Sakura's turn to shudder at his caress.  
The cold trail that his rough fingers left behind soaked through her skin, but she didn't care.  
He was touching her…  
She was touching him…and he was accepting it and possibly even _enjoying_ it.

"It burns me." he said, finishing his thought and pulled away from her.  
Sakura watched sadly as he jumped down from the windowsill and walked towards the door.

"Gaara," she called after him.  
She wanted to finish this.  
She wanted to explore him further.  
She wanted to go after him, but her knees felt like jello, and she knew that any attempt to go after him would result in her ending up on the floor.

He slowly pulled open the door and gave her a sideways glance.

"When I find an answer to your question, I'll let you know."

And with that he pulled the door closed behind him.

Sakura heard the doorknob click shut once again and then let out an exasperated sigh.

_What was that?! _she thought to herself as she brought her hand up to her forehead to steady herself.  
Her skin was still tingling from the cold touches that he had left behind.  
Gazing at her hands, she marveled at how just a minute ago they were running up and down his smooth skin.

_What question was he talking about?_ she pondered as she continued to examine her hands.  
Then it hit her, she had asked him why she was different from everyone else…

"He doesn't know either…" she said as the realization soaked in.

Shakily, she moved to the door and headed out to her car since she figured she should go home before anything else happened.

Tsunade waved her down in the hallway and Sakura cringed and hoped that her boss wouldn't see right through her. Sakura was new here, but she was pretty sure that flirting and kissing patients was against the rules.

"Sakura, I've been meaning to have a talk with you…" Tsunade started.

Sakura's heart began to beat faster…_Does she know?_ she thought. _No…she couldn't! that's impossible, no one could know that fast._

"I wanted to congratulate you on the good work you've been doing on Gaara so far. I was wrong to doubt you and your abilities. This is the most well behaved I've ever seen Gaara in all of his history here. He hasn't lashed out at anyone, including the staff, since you started working solely on his case. We only have to give him one shot of Nembutal a week now!"

Hearing the word 'Nembutal', Sakura snapped out of her paranoia and said, "I want you take him off of the drug completely."

Tsunade's mouth hung open as she stopped talking and stared at Sakura.

Quickly recovering her proffessional stature, Tsunade responded with a simple, "That's never been done before Sakura. That could be dangerous…for both you _and_ him, not to mention everyone else in this hospital."

"Trust me Tsunade," Sakura said confidently, "he'll be fine. I'll take full blame for anything he does if I'm wrong."

Tsunade eyed Sakura wearily, but then slowly nodded in agreement to her request.

"Starting tomorrow Gaara will not receive any more Nembutal unless he becomes a threat to himself or others, or until you tell me otherwise."

Sakura smiled in appreciation and went to thank Tsunade when a loud noise and a scream interrupted her and both women turned to see a patient in the corner of the rec-room having a fit.  
Tsunade hurriedly wished Sakura a good night and ran to the patient before he hurt himself.

Sakura all but ran out of the room and to her car.  
The drive home was done in a daze as she replayed her interaction with Gaara over and over in her head.  
She thought about things she could have done wrong, all of the things that could have _gone_ wrong, and all of the things she had wanted to do but didn't get a chance to do…

She knew that sleep would never come to her since she could feel the adrenaline still pumping through her veins.  
So she decided that taking a hot shower would be the best idea.  
On her way to the bathroom, she noticed that her answering machine light was flashing, and that she had 10 new messages on it.

Listening to each one, she smiled as she heard the voices of her friends. She heard Naruto's overly enthusiastic voice all but scream into the phone how he and Hinata were doing in their apartment that they had just bought together The other nine messages were from Ino demanding Sakura to call her back and tell her what she has been up to since it had been a month since they had last talked to each other.

Sakura gaped at the phone as she realized that it _had_ been a month and Ino wasn't just over exaggerating like she usually did.

She glanced at the clock and decided that it was too late to call Ino back now so it would have to wait another day.

Turning on the water and stepping into the shower, she felt as the coolness that Gaara had left behind on her skin was easily washed away…she sighed as she realized that the memory of it all wouldn't be so easily erased.

Leaning her head against the shower wall, she thought about how awkward things were going to be between them now.  
What if Gaara freaked out again like he had last time she touched him…what would Tsunade do?  
How could Sakura possibly explain this one to her boss?

But he didn't pull away from her.  
He had forced himself to stay as she ran her hands up and down his skin…  
Sakura's heart skipped when a picture of Gaara's shocked and scared face ran flashed in her mind.

She closed her eyes and kept that picture with her as long as she possibly could.  
Eventually his face began to fade until the only thing she could see were his eyes and his scar.

Smiling slightly, she opened her eyes and thought, _The file said that his scar means 'love'. _

Her smile widened at the irony of it since she was sure that Gaara didn't know the meaning of the word.  
He only knew of the words 'paranoia' and 'aggression'.

Bringing her hand to her cheek and tracing the same trail that his fingers had made earlier, her smile faded as she thought of the possibility of teaching him the meaning of the word 'love'…


	8. Chapter 8

**thanks for the reviews everyone!  
here's the next chapter...  
enjoy!  
;-)**

* * *

Sakura's alarm woke her up the next morning. 

Groaning as she rolled over to hit the off button, she buried her face into her pillow and dreaded what awaited her at the hospital.  
Knowing that she had set her alarm later then she usually did, she rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom.  
Gasping as she splashed cold water onto her face, she was once again reminded of Gaara's touch which brought about a tight nervous knot in her stomach.

Groaning once again as she grabbed her stomach and slouched down to the ground, she hit her head repeatedly against her bathroom cabinet as she debated on whether or not she should call in sick for the day.  
_I've never acted like this for any other guy…_she thought to herself. _When did I turn into such a coward?_ _When I started petting a psycho, that's when.  
_Cursing at her inner-self and also knowing that avoiding the whole thing would only make it worse, she slowly stood up from the floor and grabbed her toothbrush.

* * *

Sakura pulled up to the hospital much later then she had been arriving the past month.  
She pulled into the parking lot at the exact time that she had to be there…which was late in her mind. Usually if she showed up exactly on time, she was late. But that's just how she viewed her work life… 

Looking up at the building through her windshield, she couldn't help but notice how it suddenly seemed to loom over her more.

As she pulled open the heavy front door, it seemed like it creaked open louder then usual. Sakura winced at the noise and figured that all of the inhabitants probably heard her enter.  
Throwing up her arms in defeat for a quiet and discreet entry, she grunted her good morning to the receptionist and made her way slowly to Tsunade's office.

Sakura didn't know if it was really happening or if it was just her unconscious being paranoid, but it seemed like _all_ of the patients were either staring at her or running away from her…much like they did for Gaara.  
Trying not to read too much into it, she knocked on Tsunade's door and entered.

Upon entering the room, Tsunade handed Sakura one of the small medical bags and smiled.  
Immediately flashing back to the same situation where she was given the same bag when she had last touched Gaara, her eyes widened and she braced herself for a barrage of questions that would only lead to answers that would get her fired…but they never came.

_Calm down Sakura…_she said to herself, _if something serious happened then Tsunade wouldn't be smiling at you…would she?_

Trying to read Tsunade's expression, Sakura squinted her eyes and leaned in closer to her boss.

Tsunade's expression changed from smiling to confusion as she asked, "Do I have something on my face?"  
Self-consciously bringing her hand up to her mouth, Tsunade started to wipe at her face.

"No...I thought I saw something but it was just the lighting." Sakura covered for herself as she immediately returned her face back to normal.

"Yeah, we do have to fix the lighting in this building…it can be a little dim and dismal sometimes."

"Yeah no kidding." Sakura muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Tsunade asked as she walked back over to her desk and sat down behind it.

"Um…" Sakura said as she tried to find something else to say. "What's this for?" she asked as she motioned to the medical bag.

Tsunade looked at her dumbfounded and simply said, "It's for Gaara."

Wincing at this Sakura asked, "What happened?"

"You mean you don't know?!" Tsunade asked her exasperated.

Sakura's heart beat even harder as the realization that Gaara _had_ done something to himself hit her.

"I..I just got in…" Sakura said, scrambling for words.

Shaking her head Tsunade said, "Still though. I would think you would be more up on things…I know you're busy but you should know when it's time to take your own patient's stitches out."

Letting out a sigh of relief, Sakura started to move to the door, "You're right Tsunade, it won't happen again."

"Sakura, wait."

Sakura turned around in the doorway and waited for Tsunade to finish what she was saying.

Tsunade stood up from behind the desk and walked over to Sakura. Putting a heavy hand on Sakura's shoulder, she said, "You're doing a really good job Sakura…I'm sure with everything on your plate, Gaara's stitches seem trivial."

Shaking her head in understanding, "No Tsunade, you're absolutely right. Gaara is the only person I'm in charge of. I should know everything that needs to be done and should be done to him."  
_Like kiss him, _inner Sakura chimed in.

Feeling heat rush to her cheeks, Sakura quickly turned her face away from her boss and waved her goodbye as she retreated down the hallway.

* * *

The hallway seemed to close in on her as the air became thicker and thicker on her journey to Gaara's room. 

Since it was so late, most of the patients were out and walking around the hospital…but something told Sakura that Gaara wasn't among them. Her Gaara-sense told her that he would still be in his room waiting for her.

Reaching his door, she sighed as she gently pushed it open.

She found Gaara fiercely pacing back and forth in his room.  
Judging by the looks of things, he had been doing it for a while since the area rug that was in the middle of the room had been worn down considerably where he was walking.

When he heard the door open, he spun around to see who it was. Seeing that it was Sakura, he stopped his pacing immediately and stared at her.

Sakura froze in her spot at the door.  
Still in between the hallway and the inside of the room, a big part of her wanted to retreat back out into the hallway.

Instead she found herself saying lamely, "Good morning Gaara…"

"You're late."

His voice was low but it still seemed to echo inside of the room and Sakura's head.

"No I'm not…" she replied slowly, "I'm right on time actually."

His glare deepened and Sakura stopped herself from taking a step back into the hallway.

"You know what I mean."

Steeling her willpower, Sakura took a casual step forward as she closed the door behind her and walked past Gaara to put the medical bag on his desk.  
She felt his eyes on her the entire time.  
She also felt how his breath hitched in his chest as she slightly brushed her shoulder against him as she walked by.

Casually placing the bag onto the desk, she opened it and started to look for the tool used to remove stitches.

"Sit down on your bed Gaara, I'm going to take those stitches out of you today."

Silently doing as he was told, Gaara sat down on his bed, but Sakura still felt his eyes on her the entire time.

Pushing the image of Gaara _waiting_ for her on his bed, Sakura turned to face him and motioned for him to hold his hand out.  
He slowly extended his arm and opened up his palm.

Pulling the desk chair in front of his bed, Sakura sat down and calmly grabbed his hand.  
Cutting the knots in the stitches, she didn't realized that she was running her thumb back and forth over the side of his hand while she was working.

"I don't think that falls under the category of 'medical touching'," Gaara hissed.

Snapping out of the haze that she was in, she stared dumbly at her thumb and wondered when it had grown a mind of its own.

"Sorry…" she said, "I just thought after last night that…"

There. She had said it.  
She had brought up last night…now she had to wait to see how he reacted to it.

He bowed his head as his shoulders shook with what Sakura could only see as intense rage.

"What makes you think that last night changed _anything…_"

Suddenly realizing that she wasn't in the safest situation…she slowly and calmly reached into her medical bag for the scalpel that she knew was in there.  
Using her middle and index fingers, she pulled off the cover for the blade and gripped the handle tightly in her hand…prepared to defend herself using any means necessary.

"What happened last night means _nothing_ to me. You were just an experiment…that's all."

Despite all of the fear that was gripping Sakura's vocal chords, it was immediately gone when he called her an experiment…

"I was a _what_?!" Sakura seethed at him.

He brought his gaze up to meet hers and was delighted to see that her anger made her eyes an even brighter shade of green…

"You heard me."

Gripping the scalpel tighter in her palm, she felt as the handle dug into her skin and left an indent.

"I am a human Gaara…_not_ something that can be experimented on."

Smirking at her anger he said, "You proved to be a good one last night. You cemented the fact that I don't like touching people _or_ being touched."

Narrowing her eyes at him she hissed, "So you're telling me you never want what happened last night to happen again?"

Shrugging as he leaned back against the wall he said, "It was not enjoyable. I see no point in continuing it."

A slow evil smirk crept its way onto her face as an idea popped into her head…she would have to test this theory of his.

Leaning into his face she whispered so that her breath brushed his cheek, "Are you sure you didn't enjoy it?"

His eyes widened at her boldness.  
She saw hesitation flash briefly in them and saw his muscles tense.  
The scalpel that she gripped reminded her not to push him too far…but he had insulted her in one of the worst ways.  
He had said that she didn't matter, that he didn't view her as a person but something that could be tested on and then discarded.  
And that didn't sit well with her.  
She _had_ to push him back, even if it did put her own life at stake.

Leaning in as far as she could without taking her hand off of the scalpel in the bag, Sakura whispered again, "Are you _sure_ you don't want it to happen again?"

Gaara growled and said, "You're playing with fire little girl."

Smirking wider she said, "I am _not_ a little girl…but then, you already know that. I think you really enjoyed last night. You're just afraid of what it will mean if you admit that you did."

Grabbing her shoulders, he moved to push her away from him.  
Sakura winced at his tight grip on her shoulders and silently thanked the bed for being soft since she was slammed down into it with such force that it still hurt her back.

She was sure that his tight grip was leaving bruises…luckily for her she had been able to maneuver her arm in time so that the scalpel blade was pressed tightly against his throat.

Pulling his head back to view her weapon, he smirked as he threw her a skeptical look.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me." she growled back at him, trying not to show how much pain his grip was causing her.

Leaning in closer to her, Sakura made sure to keep her arm exactly where it was without giving any ground to his growing proximity.

Letting out a satisfied "hn" noise, he leaned back slightly once again and smirked down at her.

"You show bravery on the outside…but inside you're absolutely terrified. And you would never cut me."

She moved to sit up on the bed and found that he loosened his grip and allowed her to.  
Her body was still sandwiched in between his legs but she was now able to sit up on her elbows.

Turning the scalpel threateningly, she smirked, "Are you sure?"

She didn't like the look that came to his eyes…it wasn't _normal._ She wasn't even sure if it was human.

She stopped herself from gasping when he leaned forward to the scalpel and licked it.  
Her wrist began to shake and her fingers slackened on the object…suddenly everything she had done up to this point seemed like a really _really_ bad idea.

"So tell me," he said as he eyed her once again. "What would it mean if I were to admit that I liked what happened last night?"

His question grounded her and pulled her away from her fear.  
She was still in this battle…he hadn't won completely.

"It would mean that there's still hope for you. That you're not completely dead and useless. And that you can leave this place someday."

She couldn't help but notice that his eyes were transfixed on her mouth and that at each word she spoke he was leaning in closer and closer to her and the scalpel.

When the soft skin on his neck reached the blade, she applied slight pressure.  
It wasn't enough to cut him but it was enough to let him know that she meant business.

His lips parted making a slight noise that Sakura was close enough hear, just a few more inches and she would be able to nudge him with her nose again…

"And…" she said, returning to her previous train of thought, only to lose it again as she gazed up at him.  
She found herself lost in the emotional pool that only his eyes could ever hold.  
She was sure that she could stare at them all day and see every spectra of emotion that could ever exist in the world…

"And?" he questioned her, leaning in closer and closer.

Sakura slowly felt her elbow bend as his neck pushed against the blade of the scalpel.  
Her nerves were on edge as they tried to decide on whether or not to brace themselves for pain or pleasure from his touch.

She watched his descent to her closely.  
She parted her lips to encourage him and to keep leaning in. His breath was becoming rapid again…she saw as his eyes hesitated as he drew near.

When his face hovered above hers she realized what he was doing…he was letting her decide what she wanted to do. An option she was pretty sure he didn't give anyone for _any_ situation.  
He was only proving to her that he _did_ see her as someone and not just a thing like he had said earlier.  
She smiled when she realized that this was probably just some big trap that he had set up for her. And like a hungry fish, she had taken the bait hook, line, and sinker.

Taking a deep breath she flipped the scalpel blade that rubbed dangerously against his neck flat so that it was no longer a threat to his jugular.

She saw as his eyes flashed in realization of what was coming next.

If she did this…if she leaned in to him as well, she wasn't sure what it would mean.  
She knew what she _wanted _it to mean, but she wasn't sure of what Gaara would think about it.  
Maybe he was just using her as a giant experiment to test to see what normal life was like after all…  
But at this point, she didn't care.

Rubbing her nose against his slightly, she lightly brushed her lips against his.

It was so light it could have been mistaken as a breath…but by judging how Gaara's eyes widened and how his breath became labored, she knew he had recognized it for what it was.

He didn't kiss her back though. He stayed there, frozen.  
But that was something that Sakura expected since she was pretty sure he had never experienced anything like this before.

Easing him into it, she kissed him again. Only this time with a little more pressure so that there was no mistaking what it was.  
And this time she was rewarded with the slightest pressure back from his.

Her eyes smiled up at his, encouraging him to continue.

She marveled at how she had just went from being terrified for her life to all of a sudden wanting to play doctor with him…  
And just by looking at him now, he looked more like a scared little boy then the menace that he just was a minute ago.

She waited this time, after all, she didn't want to put in all of the effort…  
When he realized that she was done making the advances, he leaned in and plunged his lips against hers.

Letting out a surprised yelp, Sakura felt as the scalpel slipped in her hand and she gripped it tighter to stop it from falling to the ground. She felt as the blade cut her palm, but her mind didn't register it.  
Gaara's lips against hers overrode everything at that moment.

His kisses were sloppy and hesitant at first, but then they grew more intense and more skilled as he quickly learned the technique of kissing.  
She let the scalpel fall to the floor and was surprised when she felt his tongue brush against her bottom lip.

_I didn't teach him that…_ she mused to herself as she opened her mouth to oblige him.

Just as suddenly as it had exploded, Gaara ended it by pulling away from her and shrinking to the corner of the bed.  
Sitting up to catch her breath Sakura stared at him shocked at what had just happened…

"You're bleeding." he said as he hugged his knees into his chest.

Sakura stared down at her hand and saw as a thin line of blood slowly flowed down her palm.

"Yeah…" she said dumbly.

Noticing that the blood made him uncomfortable, she quickly got off the bed and went through the medical bag to find a bandage.

When she was finished, she waved her hand at him and said, "See? All better."

He only stared at her over his knees.

Biting her lower lip, still tasting him on them, she patted the area on the bed in front of her and said, "Let's finish taking out those stitches."

Gaara moved slowly to her and she removed his stitches without anymore interruptions or conversation from him or her.

* * *

The rest of the day consisted of the usual routine between the two of them and the end of the day rolled around quicker then it usually did.  
Sakura or Gaara would say something and the other would comment back, followed by silence...silence that Sakura was slowly finding herself comfortable around. 

When Sakura realized that what had happened between them, and what would hopefully continue to happen, wouldn't make things awkward, she relaxed and accepted the relationship that was growing between them.

Wishing Gaara a good night, she walked past Tsunade's office and heard her reprimanding someone.

Curious, since Sakura had heard that tone from the woman before, she slowed and found herself standing in front of her open door.

"You're lucky I'm short staffed right now, otherwise I would _not_ let you return to work here. If another episode between you and _any_ patient happens again, I will do more then just suspend you for a few months. Is that understood?" Tsunade said sternly to a man with raven black hair.

The man simply nodded in a bored manner and said, "Understood."

Sakura was frozen to the spot…

The man turned and she found herself staring at the darkest, blackest eyes she had ever seen. Cold chills ran up her spine and her insides immediately hated him.

"Oh, good." Tsunade said as she noticed Sakura standing in the hallway. "Sakura, I'd like you to meet an old employee of ours…"  
The man stepped forwards and grabbed her hand and shook it firmly.

"Sasuke." he said. His deep voice vibrating her insides and causing bile to form in the back of her throat. "Uchiha Sasuke."


	9. Chapter 9

**this one took forever guys... i'm sorry. i meant to update quicker but with work and friend obligations it made it hard... but here's the next chapter! so enjoy!**

**FYI: you are all amazing! -showers in the rain of cookies and hugs you all-**

**:-)**

* * *

Sakura only stared at Sasuke's hand that hung in the air between them, waiting for her to shake it. 

Before Sakura could do anything, she was interrupted by Tsunade saying, "Sakura, can I see you in my office please? I would like to discuss your current case with you."

Sakura nodded, silently thanking Tsunade for the interruption, and nodded at Sasuke who dropped his hand shrugging and walked nonchalantly down the hallway.

As soon as Sakura was in the office, Tsunade closed the door behind her and said, "I didn't want Sasuke to know that you were working with Gaara."

"Why?" Sakura asked.

"I think I had better tell you why I had to suspend Sasuke from working here…"

Taking a seat at her desk, Tsunade continued, "A few months ago, I caught Sasuke mistreating Gaara while he was drugged."

Sakura's grip tightened as her hands curled into tight fists. "Mistreating him how?"

Sighing, Tsunade finished, "I caught him standing over Gaara, threatening him with another shot of Nembutal while telling him that he was worthless and that no one cared about him. It took me so long to reach Gaara again after that…Sasuke's words really hit him hard for some reason. But since Sasuke never did anything physically to harm Gaara, I could only suspend him and not fire him."

By now, Sakura had squeezed her fists so hard they were shaking.

"Tsunade…" she said through clenched teeth. "Just so you know, if he does _anything_ like that to Gaara again, I _will_ punch him."

Walking over to Sakura, Tsunade placed her hand on her shoulder and said, "And just so you know, I will be willing to overlook such an action and lesson your suspension to a day or two."

Sakura nodded in understanding as she lessened her grip on her fists.

"Sakura…" Tsunade said in a tone heavy with warning. "Keep an eye on Gaara. If he starts acting out or acts differently in any way let me know immediately. You also have to remember that he's no longer being given Nembutal, and that drug is the only thing that saved Sasuke last time. You said that you would take full responsibility for anything that Gaara did while off of that drug. I would hate to have to fire you for Gaara protecting himself…"

"You won't fire me for hitting Sasuke, but I would be fired if _Gaara_ did?!" Sakura gaped.

Tsunade removed her hand from Sakura's shoulder and walked over to her desk. "I can always report your incident as a sexual harassment case, But with Gaara…it would only be seen as patient neglect since you wrote in your report that he no longer needs to be on the drug. And for you to make such a claim and then have something happen only shows my bosses that you are incompetent and should not be working here. So if you have _any_ doubt about Gaara being off of Nembutal, you need to tell me now and I will go and give him a shot. You have a promising career Sakura, I'd hate to see it ruined by the likes of Sasuke."

Sakura took a deep breath as she digested Tsunade's words.

Thinking back on her latest interaction with Gaara, Sakura's lips began to tingle. Licking them she realized that they were still cold from his lips.  
_Damn it all, _she thought as a slow smile crept across her face.  
Looking at Tsunade confidently she said, "I stand by my decision."

Tsunade nodded in understanding and told Sakura to have a good night, which she followed with a stern, "Watch your back around Sasuke. I don't trust him, and neither should you."

* * *

Tsunade's warning followed Sakura down the hall and hung over her like a heavy cloud.  
She already didn't like this Sasuke guy…how could she possibly be expected to work with him? 

As she neared the front door of the building, she noticed a silhouette leaning against it.

"No one's walking you to your car?" she heard a deep voice say and she immediately stopped in her tracks when she realized that it was Sasuke.

Swallowing her callous comments, she replied shortly, "Why would I need someone to do that?"

Sasuke pushed himself off of the wall and walked into the dim lighting so that Sakura could see him better.

He simply shrugged and said, "A pretty girl like you walking alone to her car so late at night…it just screams catastrophe."

Her hands seemed to have a mind of their own as they immediately curled into fists.  
Willing them to loosen, she replied, "I've been doing it without a problem so far, I don't see a reason to change anything now."

When she moved towards the door, he grabbed her arm gently and said, "All the more reason to walk you out. If anyone is planning on attacking you, they would have your schedule memorized by now…"

Something inside of Sakura told her that he was right and hated him even more for it.  
"And why should I trust you?" she asked him, folding her arms in front of her so he wouldn't notice her clenched fists. "For all I know, _you_ could be planning something."

A sly smile crept his way to his mouth as he added coolly, "The only thing I'm planning on is seeing you safely to your car."

Knowing full well that he wasn't going to leave her alone until he saw her out, she reluctantly gave in to him and moved to the doors with him close behind her.

Walking briskly to her car, she reached the car door and turned around to face him.

"Okay I made it here alive. Goodbye." she said shortly unlocking her car door and moving to pull it open.

His hand prevented her from going further as he leaned against her car and asked, "So how long have you been working here?"

"Not long." she replied shortly as she tugged on her car door again, only to have him stop her once more.

"Well, then how long do you have left here?" he persisted.

"Not much longer." she seethed at him.

He chuckled quietly and continued, "Why do I get the feeling that you don't like me very much?"

Giving up on opening her car door, she crossed her arms over her chest and said, "How perceptive of you."

She watched his eyes travel down her body and she blushed from anger.

Cocking his head to the side, he gently placed his fingertips on her arm and asked, "What happened here?"

Sakura looked down at her arm and noticed light bruises that Gaara had left behind from grabbing her so hard.

"They're nothing…" she said as she rubbed her arm pretending to be cold.

"You should be wearing a coat…after all it _is_ December. You don't want to catch a cold."

"I forgot to grab it this morning. Besides I really don't need one when I'm just walking from the building to my car."

He frowned at her and motioned to her arms again, "They don't look like just nothing to me..."

Sakura smirked, hoping that this course of action would get him to leave her alone, she replied, "My boyfriend and I got a little carried away."

All of Sakura's mental process stopped at that moment.  
_Did I just refer to Gaara as my boyfriend?_ she thought to herself.  
As she rolled around the idea in her head, she decided that it wasn't the worst one she had ever come up with…

Completely forgetting that Sasuke was standing there, her attention was drawn back to him when he chuckled and said, "Boyfriend? What's the lucky man's name?"

"I…uh…" Sakura stuttered trying to find a way out of the bind that she had gotten herself in. There was just absolutely no way she could let word get out that her and Gaara had kissed...

Her eyes darted back and forth, finally resting on a silhouette behind Sasuke.  
Squinting slightly, Sakura could make out a figure of someone standing in one of the large windows of the building; and judging by the person's posture, she could tell that it was Gaara.

Sasuke followed her eye line and soon found Gaara himself.

Letting out an unfriendly irritated laugh, Sasuke said, "So he's still here…I thought he would have been long gone by now."

Her anger resurfaced as she glared hard at Sasuke.

"Do you know anything about that guy?" Sasuke asked, motioning towards the window that Gaara was standing in.

Smiling slightly she decided to tell Sasuke the truth, "Only a little."

"Yeah, well he's dangerous." Sasuke warned her. "If I were you, I wouldn't find myself in a room alone with him. But don't worry, I'll protect you."  
And with that, he took her hands between his two hands and squeezed them gently for a few seconds.  
Letting them go, he waved her goodbye and left her standing next to her car.

Wiping her hand on her shirt, Sakura returned her gaze to the window and saw as Gaara walked out of sight when he saw that Sasuke was no longer near her.

"No thanks Sasuke," Sakura said under her breath, "I already have someone watching over me…"

Opening her car door, she got in and drove hurriedly out of the driveway and headed home.

* * *

The next morning, Sakura found herself arriving at the hospital extra early.  
For some reason she couldn't wait to see Gaara and see what else the day would bring her. 

_Maybe he'll kiss me again…_ she thought as she walked to his room.

She knocked and walked into his room letting out a cheerful, "Good morning".

He was standing in the middle of the room, slouched over with his hands in his pockets.  
The serious look on his face immediately made Sakura stop her advance on him and wiped the smile from her face completely.

"Gaara…" she said attentively. "What's wrong?"

He continued to glare at her, never saying a word.

Taking a step forward, her heart sank when he took a step back.  
Halting her advance, she looked around the room for any sign of what could have happened to make him so standoffish to her once again.

Nothing stood out.  
In fact, the only new addition to his room was the Edgar Allan Poe book that she had let him borrow.

Deciding that cornering him would be the best course of action, she took four strong steps forward, and he found himself up against he wall as he took the same amount of steps back.

Dropping his gaze to the floor, he leaned against the wall avoiding her completely.

"Hey…" she said as she reached out to brush the hair out of his eyes.  
But before her hand could even touch him, his hand shot out and grabbed her roughly by the wrist.

"Don't." he said as he squeezed her wrist to get his warning across.

Sighing, she let her arm go slack.  
When he felt the tension rush out of her muscles, Gaara dropped her arm and continued to avoid her as he folded his arms in front of him.

"Why won't you let me touch you now?" she asked.  
She was so confused by everything…she decided to throw caution to the wind and get to the bottom of everything.

His cold gaze drifted to her hand and then up to her eyes as he said, "_He_ touched you."

Completely forgetting about her little conversation with Sasuke the previous night, Sakura asked, "Who did?"

But he only stared harder at her.

"Gaara," she said, "no one touched me."

"I saw it."

His silhouette immediately popped into her mind and she remembered that Sasuke had grabbed her hands before he left.

Shaking her head at Gaara, she clambered for words, "Gaara…it's not like that…he grabbed me. I didn't want him to, but he did anyways and…"

Gaara huffed at her as he shifted slightly against the wall.

His eyes drifted to her once again and traveled over her.  
This time Sakura felt a heated blush creep to her face at his concentrated gaze.

His gaze rested on her arms and cut hand as he said, "I hurt you."

Her eyes moved to his neck and noticed a thin red line from where she had pressed the scalpel blade too hard, "Not any more then I hurt you." she pointed out to him.

He nodded slightly and then side-stepped around her, avoiding any contact that might happen during the move away from her.  
She followed him with her eyes as he returned to his bed and sat down on it. Opening up to the middle of the book, he started to read, completely ignoring the fact that she was there.

Wanting to draw Gaara's attention away from Sasuke and the interaction she had had with him, she walked over to the bed and sat down next to him, "So do you like Poe so far?" she asked.

Gaara simply nodded at her.

_I need to think of something else…_she thought. _Something that requires more than a one word answer._

"I've always liked Poe," she tried. "My favorite story is probably Eleonora…what's your favorite?"

Gaara only shrugged in response.

Sakura fidgeted where she sat and did not like the distance that was quickly growing between them.

_Maybe if I just address the topic that we're both avoiding he'll come back around…_she thought.

"Gaara…" she asked quietly as she stared at her hands, silently wondering if cutting them off would bring Gaara closer to her since she would have had removed the parts that Sasuke had touched. "You do know that Sasuke is back for good, right?"

Gaara stiffened next to her, his grasp on the hardcover book tightening.

"You also know that I have taken full responsibility for you and your actions off of Nembutal…"

Gaara's gaze lifted from the book to her.

"Tsunade told me what happened between the two of you last time," Sakura continued. "So I'm reminding you that my career rests in your hands…I'm asking you to control yourself."

Gaara huffed at her and said, "It's not my fault that you put too much trust in people."

"Gaara…please." Sakura said as she scooted closer to him.

Noticing her move closer to him, he eyed her wearily but didn't move away.

"I don't make promises."

"Do it just this once." she said as she lightly touched his arm. "For me."

Gaara stared at the offending hand on his arm.  
Tightening his jaw and exhaling heavily, he nodded in agreement, and then returned to reading his book.

Sighing in relief, Sakura leaned in closer to him and whispered, "I know how you feel Gaara…I don't like Sasuke either."

Gaara's eyes widened dangerously as he hissed, "You have no _idea_ how I feel."

_Not good…_ Sakura's inner self warned her.

"You don't know what it's been like for me. You don't know what it's like to live your life confined behind four walls while the world outside passes you by, forgetting that you even exist…"

"Gaara…I…" Sakura stuttered as she reached out to calm him down.

"Don't." he said as he jumped up from where he was sitting.  
Book still in hand, he walked to the door, pausing only to turn around and look at Sakura once more.

Opening his mouth to say something else, he only shook his head side to side and said, "Forget it" and threw the book onto the floor and left his room.

When Sakura no longer heard his footsteps in the hallway, she slowly stood up and picked the book up off of the floor.

It had fallen open to a random page that had a verse underlined in black pen.

_That's odd…_ Sakura thought, _I never underlined anything in this book._

Sitting back down on his bed, she read the underlined verse.  
She recognized the line from Eleonora, it read: _**I was awakened from a slumber like unto the slumber of death by the pressing of spiritual lips upon mine own.**_

The book slipped from Sakura's hands and once again hit the floor as the message of the verse hit her.

_Did he underline that?_ she thought to herself. _He must have…he's the only other person who's ever read this book…but why did he underline it? Is he referring to OUR kiss?_

Sakura's head spun until she was dizzy.  
She needed answers from him, and she needed them now.

Stumbling out of his room, she occasionally reached out to touch the walls to steady herself as she searched everywhere for Gaara.  
But just like Tsunade had told her before, when Gaara doesn't want to be found, you don't stand a chance in hell in finding him.

As time went on, she was becoming more and more desperate.  
She was walking frantically through the hallways looking for him, occasionally bumping into patients. Some just slouched away from her, but one patient started to throw a fit and two strong and firm hands grasped onto her shoulders and pushed her down into a dusty chair.  
Sasuke entered into her vision as he rushed forward to get the flailing patient away from her.  
With a quick showing of dominance from Sasuke, the patient shrank away and Sasuke returned his attention back to Sakura.

"Are you alright?" she heard him ask.

Sakura collapsed in on herself so that he didn't get a chance to touch her.

"Hey…" he said as he stood over here. "Didn't you hear me? I asked if you were okay…"

Sakura held her head in her hands as she started to hear the patients walk towards the cafeteria for lunch.

"Come on." Sasuke said, offering her his hand. "Let's get you something to eat. You look like you're going to pass out."

Sakura glared at her hand and stood up without his help.  
Piecing back together her wits, she firmly walked by him and headed to the cafeteria with a smirking Sasuke close behind her.

Sakura decided to copy Gaara and let silence develop between her and Sasuke. She didn't say one word to him as they stood in line for their food.  
Eventually it was Sasuke who broke the silence.

"So did you hear that Tsunade has assigned another doctor to help that Gaara freak? I don't know why that woman won't give up already. It's obvious that there's no hope for him."

Sakura gripped her lunch tray tightly.  
Each word that he spoke sent hot trails of ire through her veins.

Staring straight ahead of her, she clenched her jaw and resolved not to lash out at him in front of hundreds of witnesses.

After getting her food, she walked briskly to a table, hoping that Sasuke wouldn't follow her.  
Much to her dismay, he was close on her heels.

"I mean…I don't know who this doctor is, but whoever it is they don't stand a chance. They'll just quit in the end like all the rest did. You know why all the other doctors quit don't you?"

Sakura shook her head side to side while trying to find a way to get rid of the leech.

"Because they all realized that he is beyond saving. It's people like him that make me wish that euthanasia was legal for humans as well…"

Sakura's anger won out against her self-control.

Turning around sharply, she pretended to run into Sasuke while dumping all of the contents of her lunch tray onto him.

Sasuke was now one big, sticky, hot, goopy mess in the middle of the cafeteria.  
All of the patients around them were laughing and pointing like little children.

Sakura couldn't help the satisfied smile that crept onto her face as she said in a sweet voice, "Oh…I'm sorry Sasuke…I didn't think you were _that_ close behind me."

Sasuke gave her a cold stare that almost matched Gaara's.

She stepped around him and headed for the cafeteria exit.  
Passing Tsunade on the way out, she informed her boss that he was going home early.  
Not giving Tsunade a chance to agree or disagree to her statement, she headed down the halls and out of the doors to her car.

Looking around as she unlocked her car door she noticed two figures standing by the fence once again.  
Recognizing them as the two people from before, she walked to them calling out to get their attention.

The girl recognized her first and pulled on the man's sleeve to get his attention.  
Seeing Sakura coming towards them, they both turned and started to retreat.

"Wait!" Sakura called out as she started to run. "Please! Wait! I have a question about Gaara!"

The two didn't even pause, they only quickened their pace.

"Please! I'm his doctor! If you two would only talk to me I might be able to get him out of here!"

The woman stopped.  
Reaching out, she grabbed onto the man's arm next to her which caused him to turn around sharply and stare at her. His intense look lessened slightly and then traveled to Sakura.

The woman turned around as well and Sakura almost gasped when she noticed the resemblance of the two people in front of her compared to Gaara.

"You said that you can help him…" The woman spoke.

Sakura stepped towards them and nodded, "I'm sure I can."

"And you can get him out of there?" the woman persisted.

Sakura nodded again.

The woman looked up at the man standing behind her and he nodded at her as he closed his eyes in thought.

The woman took out a pen from one of her coat pockets and grabbed Sakura's hand swiftly.  
Sakura gasped at the sudden movement but didn't pull away from the woman's harsh grasp.

Quickly writing down a phone number, the woman said, "Call that number and we'll set up a time to talk face to face."

Then the pair turned around and started to walk away again.

"Wait!" Sakura called after them. "What are your names?"

Without turning around, the woman gave Sakura the answer to her question. "I'm Temari, and this is my brother Kankurou. We're Gaara's siblings."

Sakura's heart stopped beating for a few seconds at the realization of what kind of information these two could possibly give to her.

_His siblings…_she thought as the cold December wind whipped around her.


	10. Chapter 10

**i know, i know, i know...it took me longer to update. but i only foresee one more chapter after this one and then this story is finished...**

**so enjoy!**

**;-)**

* * *

Sakura rushed home and nearly broke her key in the lock as she desperately jammed it into the key hole.

Dashing over to her phone, she cradled it between her shoulder and head as she dialed the phone number that Temari had written down.  
Her heart beat wildly in her chest as the phone rang…and rang…and rang.  
Sakura counted eleven rings before she hung up the phone and cursed loudly.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm down, she picked up the phone again and redialed the number slower just in case she had hit the wrong number during her rush before.

Again the phone just rang in her ear.

"Shit!" Sakura screamed as she threw her phone to the ground.  
All she could think about was that Temari had given her a wrong number and this opportunity would be gone forever.

Taking another few calming breaths, Sakura recollected herself.

"Relax Sakura," she said aloud to herself. "They're probably just not home yet. I'll call them later tonight."

Plopping herself down onto the couch, she turned on her TV for the first time in weeks.  
Wildly flipping through the channels, she couldn't help but stop to look at the clock every few minutes or so.

Deciding that an hour of waiting constituted as 'later', she picked up her phone from off of the ground and redialed Temari's number.

The phone rang a few times and Sakura felt as her heart grew heavier and heavier with each ring.

Just when she thought her stomach had swallowed her heart whole, it leapt back to its place when she heard the phone stop ringing, only to be replaced with a loud munching noise and a muffled, "What?".

"He…hello," Sakura stuttered. "Is Temari or Kankuro there?"

"This is Kankuro." the voice said.

"Hi Kankuro, this is Sakura."

"Hmm, don't know you…sorry." Kankuro said.

"WAIT!" Sakura shouted loudly into the phone. "I'm the doctor you met outside of the hospital. The one that can fix Gaara."

Silence followed, but Sakura knew that Kankuro was still there because she could still hear him munching on something.

After a few moments of silence, Sakura heard him yell, "Temari! Phone!"

Then the munching died away as Sakura heard the phone clunk loudly onto a hard surface.

Straining her ears to hear what was going on at the other line, she heard footsteps and Temari's voice ask, "Who is it?"

"It's that Sakura chick." Kankuro said, his mouth sounding like it was full of food once again.

"Stop eating! If you don't eat my dinner again I'll stop buying chips for you to eat!"

"Whatever…" was all that Sakura heard as a response from Kankuro because the rest of it was mumbled.  
She couldn't stop herself from imagining Gaara standing in the background shaking his head at his siblings.  
_But he's not…_she sadly reminded herself, _he's at the hospital all alone._

"Hello." Temari said as she picked up the phone.

Cutting right to the chase, Sakura asked, "When can we meet?"

"Wow, you don't waste any time, do you?" Temari said flatly.

"Not when it comes to Gaara." Sakura persisted. "When can we meet?"

"Oi, Temari!" Sakura heard Kankuro yell from somewhere. "Let's go get some dinner from a restaurant because there's no way I'm touching this slop that you made."

Sakura had to stop herself from laughing as she heard the slew of colorful swear words that streamed from Temari's mouth.

_I see that Gaara's temper runs in the family…_she smiled to herself.

Temari exhaled loudly into the phone and asked her, "Can you meet us out to eat in a thirty minutes?"

"Yes," Sakura said enthusiastically. "What restaurant?"

Sakura copied down the information that Temari gave to her and hung up the phone.

Rushing to put on her shoes and coat once again, she ran out to her car and headed to the restaurant. 

* * *

Sakura arrived before Temari or Kankuro did.  
carefully scanning every car that pulled into the parking lot, she quickly became more apprehensive at every car that wasn't them.  
Finally she saw two figures walking towards the restaurant and immediately recognized them as the two people she was waiting for.  
Waving to their attention, she got out of her car and walked to them.

"Hello again," she said as she approached them.

"Hi." Temari said shortly. "Thanks for meeting us out here."

"It's no problem. Thanks for agreeing to see me."

"Hn." was all that Temari said as she stuffed her hands into her coat pockets.

"Can we go inside?" Kankuro whined, "We're not going to get fed out here."

Throwing him an impatient look, Temari moved towards the restaurant with Kankuro and Sakura in her wake.

Once they were seated at a table, Temari immediately started talking. "Before I tell you anything, how can you be sure that you can help Gaara?"

"Well, for starters, I'm the only one he's ever opened up to. Before I came along, he wouldn't let anyone near him; but he lets me. He talks to me and sometimes he even lets me touch him."

Sakura fought back the blush that threatened to rush to her cheeks as she flashed back to their kiss.

"Also," she continued. "He's been taken off of Nembutal completely."

Temari's eyes widened at this and Kankuro choked on the water that he was taking a sip of.

"He's off of that drug?!" Temari said disbelievingly.

Sakura only nodded proudly.

Kankuro and Temari exchanged looks, then returned their attention back to Sakura.

"Then why do you need our help? It sounds like you have everything under control." Kankuro said as she folded up a menu.

"Because he won't let me in completely. I need to know what happened him up to and including the night where he was dropped off at the hospital.

Kankuro's eyes suddenly avoided Sakura and Temari shifted in her seat.

"Why would you want to know about that?" Temari asked quietly, playing with her fingers.

"Because if I know that then I can better understand where he's coming from. Once I know the whole story, then it's only a matter of time before he's better."

The waitress suddenly appeared at their table with a bright smile and asked for their orders.

Sakura simply ordered a coffee while Temari ordered a small dinner and Kankuro seemed to order everything on the left side of the menu.

Sakura couldn't help but notice that throughout the exchange with the waitress, Temari's eyes were calculating her, sizing her up, and weighing Sakura's words.

When the waitress disappeared with their orders, Temari started the conversation up again.

"What happened to that blonde woman that was his doctor before?"

"Tsunade?" Sakura asked in order to confirm that it was the same blonde woman that Temari was thinking of.  
When Temari nodded, Sakura continued, "She's still there. She was in charge of Gaara until I came and took over his case for her."

"You look awfully young to have seniority over that Tsunade woman…" Temari said skeptically.

"Well, actually I'm just a volunteer for now…" Sakura said as she rubbed the back of her head with her hand.

"A volunteer…" Temari said in disbelief. "And why would they put a _volunteer_ on my brother's case?"

"Well…" Sakura started, trying to find the best way to explain it. "You see…Gaara, he, well…"

Waving her hand to silence Sakura, Temari cut in, "Because in my professional experience, volunteers are put in charge of smaller or unimportant cases. Which tells me that the hospital has given up on our brother and that you're just here to find out some dirty laundry on our family. All of which won't help our brother in any way."

"But…" Sakura said but was interrupted as Temari stood up.

"Come on Kankuro, let's go home."

Kankuro pointed harshly to the kitchen and Temari yelled at him, "Would you forget about your stomach for five seconds! We'll pick you up something on the way home."

Now desperate, Sakura reached out and grabbed Temari's sleeve.

"Wait...My relationship with Gaara is a little more complex then just patient/doctor."

Temari raised her eyebrows, waiting for Sakura to elaborate.

"If you sit down, I'll tell you more. But know that I tell you this in complete confidence and trust that you will not tell anyone else this…just as I won't tell anyone else what you tell me about yourselves or Gaara."

Kankuro looked relieved when Temari sat back down and Temari nodded in agreement. "What is said at this table _stays_ at this table."

Taking a deep breath, Sakura confessed, "My interaction with Gaara can be described as more than just an 'interaction'…it's more of an _intimate_ interaction."

Sakura let her implication hang in the air and watched as Temari's eyes widened and Kankuro's jaw dropped simultaneously.

"You mean…he…you…" Temari stuttered pointing at Sakura.

Nodding shyly, Sakura smiled slightly in response.

Temari let out an elated yelp as she grabbed Kankuro's arm. "You see!? I _told_ you he could go back to normal!"

Kankuro rolled his eyes at his sister and refocused onto Sakura.

Wanting to bring Temari's attention back to the subject at hand, Sakura asked, "What happened to Gaara?"

Sakura's question immediately wiped Temari's smile off of her face.  
Temari opened her mouth but immediately stopped when the waitress came by with their food.  
When she was gone, Kankuro dug hungrily into his dinner, but Temari seemed to hesitate.

"Temari," Sakura said, "please tell me."

Temari shook her head sadly and turned her head away.

"Temari," Kankuro said suddenly serious, "tell her. She, out of everyone, deserves to know. If Gaara trusts her, why shouldn't we?"

Temari's eyes wavered with emotion at Kankuro;s statment and then refocused onto Sakura as she started, "Our mother was the one thing that made our family functional. She was the rock for Kankuro and I, and especially our father. Our father was a difficult man to live with to say the least. He was always working, always angry, and always on edge; but for some reason our mother seemed to disarm him. She was the one good thing that all of us had in our lives…and Gaara took her away. She died giving birth to him, and our family crumbled at her absence. I often wonder how we all would have turned out if our mother had lived. Who knows, maybe Gaara would be normal still…"  
Shaking her head to clear her digressing thoughts, Temari continued, "After the death of our mother, our father devoted himself to work and work alone. We no longer existed in his world. He couldn't even look at us because we reminded him of our mother. And he _hated_ Gaara. He blamed Gaara for killing our mother…I would often hear him yelling at Gaara in his crib, telling him that he was a monster. I should have stopped him but I was so young…and…I thought the same thing as well at the time.  
Eventually our uncle came in to take care of us since our father's absence from the house kept getting longer and longer. There were some nights where he didn't even come home. I didn't trust our uncle though…"

"_WE_ didn't trust our uncle." Kankuro interjected.

Temari nodded and corrected herself, "We didn't trust him. He was never around us when our mother was alive. She would always tell us to stay away from him as well. So we did. We were too little to fully understand what was happening, but even back then there was just some way in which he held us on his lap or the way he said things that didn't feel right to us. So when he started to fill in for our mother at home, Kankuro and I stayed away from him. Our uncle obviously noticed this and focused all of his attention on Gaara. He claimed that since Gaara was still a baby, he needed to focus all of his energy onto him; but I knew he was lying.  
As Gaara got older, I think he started to feel uncomfortable around our uncle as well because he would often shy away from him. But yet, you could tell that Gaara really loved our uncle. After all, our uncle was like a mother to him, it's understandable.  
One day though, when Gaara was six, we were all playing outside and Gaara fell down and hit his head on a rock that was in our yard. I remember seeing the blood slowly trickle down the bump and our uncle was immediately at his side, hugging Gaara into him. I knew that there was something off about our uncle's reaction to Gaara's fall because Gaara wasn't even crying, he was just simply rubbing his head.  
I remember our uncle dragging Gaara inside as he told Kankuro and me to stay outside while he cleaned Gaara up. Not wanting to get into trouble, we did what our uncle told us to do…that is until we heard Gaara screaming."

The sound of a plate scraping on the table caught Sakura's attention, and she looked over to find Kankuro pushing away his food. He had a sad look on his face, and he simply stared out of the window with glazed eyes.

"Kankuro and I rushed inside and ran through the house looking for Gaara. He was making the worst sounds I have ever heard in my entire life…I still have nightmares about them. I would sporadically hear our uncle yelling at him as well in between screams and I couldn't understand what he was yelling about. All I kept hearing was him yelling that he hated Gaara and that he deserves this and how dare Gaara refuse him. Back then I didn't understand, but now I'm sure you can figure out what had happened.  
Then we heard a loud smack and a thud, and then the light sound of Gaara's small feet running down the upstairs hall followed by our uncle's heavier stride.  
Gaara kept yelling 'no' and the next thing I heard was our uncle scream and fall heavily down the stairs, only to land in a bloody twisted heap at our feet at the bottom of the staircase."

Temari rubbed the palms of her hands against her eyes as she finished, "I don't remember much after that. I remember looking up the staircase and seeing Gaara staring down at us from the top of them. I remember seeing how much his forehead was bleeding and seeing the symbol that someone had carved into it. To this day I don't know whether it was our uncle or Gaara himself that carved it. The last thing I remember is seeing our dad grab Gaara and drag him out the door telling us that it would be the last time that we would get to see him. I thought our father killed him that night, I really did, because he never talked about him again. It was as if Gaara had been erased from our lives…But one night I heard dad talking on the phone to someone and he mentioned Gaara and a mental institution. So Kankuro and I did some investigating and found him. And…well, I'm sure you know the rest from there."

Sakura nodded sadly, "Yeah I do, you visited him twice and then left him there all alone."

"What would you have done?" Temari shot back. "Gaara killed our mother _and_ our uncle. I know that he didn't mean to kill both of them, but I was young! I only saw him as a murderous monster. And then when we try to visit him he tried to attack us and then the next time we see him he's so drugged up he can't even lift his own arm…what would you have done?"

Sakura dropped her gaze to the table and shook her head, "I want to say that I would have kept visiting him…but I can't. I would have done the same thing."

Silence engulfed the three of them until Kankuro stood up and threw some money down onto the table, "That covers your coffee as well. Take care of yourself Sakura…let's go Temari."

Temari nodded and stood up as well.  
Still seated, Sakura's mind couldn't register their leaving. Standing up as they turned their backs on her, she said, "Do you want me to give Gaara a message for you?"

Temari turned around and smiled sadly as she shook her head, "It wouldn't be fair to him for us to suddenly reappear into his life after such a long absence."

"Well…then do you want me to keep you updated on his progress?"

Temari shook her head again and replied, "Just give him our number and tell him to call it if he wants. If he calls us then we'll go from there, and if not, then…well, then he doesn't."

Sakura followed them with her eyes as they exited the restaurant.  
The waitress came by and swept up the money, counting it as she walked away.

Sakura jolted into motion all of a sudden and dashed out of the restaurant.  
She ran out of the parking lot until she saw the two backs of Gaara's siblings.

"Thank you!" she yelled after them. And Kankuro simply lifted his arm in the air and gave her a backwards wave.

* * *

Getting back into her car, Sakura sat behind the wheel as her mind raced.  
She was infuriated.  
She was angry at Gaara's uncle for doing what he did to Gaara.  
Annoyed at Gaara's father for abandoning him in that hospital like that.  
But she was mostly furious at the fact that Gaara hadn't told her about this, that he didn't trust her enough to tell her what had happened that day.

Driving furiously back to her apartment, she only entered long enough to pick up Gaara's case file and then left once again.  
It was late, and she knew that no one except the night workers would be at the hospital, but she had to bring everything to the surface now while it was still fresh in her mind; otherwise something might be lost forever.  
The gray December clouds let loose a mixture of snow, ice, and rain as Sakura drove to the hospital. The moisture and the strong stormy wind that was picking up chilled her to the bone after she swerved into an empty parking spot and marched into the hospital.

The building seemed to moan as the storm hit it and its structure creaked like brittle bones from the cold and the moisture.  
Making her way directly to Gaara's room, she found him sitting on his bed reading Poe once again.

His unexpressive look that he gave her only infuriated her more as she stood in his doorway with her chest heaving.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she seethed.

"Tell you what?" Gaara asked as he returned his attention back to his book.

"Don't do that!" She said.

"What?"

"Ignore me!" She yelled, and her voice echoed down the hallway.

Calmly closing his book, he said, "Sakura. You burst into my room in the middle of the night yelling at me and demanding why I didn't tell you something when I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I've spent the last few months of my life devoted to you and your case. I've spent countless hours reading and rereading your file _hoping_ to find some sort of clue into your past. A clue to let me into the parts of your life that you won't tell me about…"

"I told you that you were wasting your time." Gaara said, putting the book down beside him.

"Wasting my time…" Sakura repeated quietly. Her whole body shook in fury as she glared hard at him.  
"Wasting my time…" she said again as her voice shook. "I've ignored my friends, my family, every normal aspect of my life and focused all of my attention onto getting you better. Into getting you out of here. To getting you on your feet and living a normal life…and for what? NOTHING!" she screamed as she threw his file at him.  
The papers flew everywhere and floated to the ground in scattered patterns.

Gaara's eyes widened at her action.

"Why won't you just let me in? Why won't you just _TRUST_ me?!" she yelled.

"I can't…" he said quietly.

"Why? Why can't you? Are you afraid that if you trust me I'll try to do something to you? That I would turn on you and twist our affection just like your uncle did?"

Gaara stiffened as his eyes widened more.

"That's right," Sakura continued. "I know now. I talked to your siblings and they told me everything. It seems they trust me more then you ever will…"

Gaara's look of shock darkened to one of anger.  
Sakura watched as his jaw muscles clenched and unclenched in anger and anxiety.

Standing up he clenched and unclenched his fingers. "You…" he said as he paced back and forth.

"You…why did you…"

"I had to know, Gaara. One way or another I was going to find out; and when the opportunity presented itself to me, I took it. But don't you see that this is a good thing? Because I now know what happened you can trust me, and believe me when I say that I will keep it a secret. Now that I know, you don't have to worry about scaring me away…"

Gaara just continually shook his head as he grabbed at his hair, quickening his pacing. "No…no…no…no…" he kept repeating.

"Gaara…stop pacing and listen to me." Sakura said as she reached out for him.

Grabbing his arm, he violently pulled it away and yelled, "NO!"

Sakura let go immediately and stared at him.

"You don't understand…" he said sadly. "Now that you know everything is different. You pity me now, you feel sorry for me…it's not the same. Before you were here because you wanted to be, but now you're just here out of sympathy."

Shaking her head, she grabbed Gaara's face in her hands and said, "That's not why I'm here Gaara…that's not the reason at all. I'm here because…"

Her sentence was interrupted by his lips pressed against hers.  
The force of his kiss pushed her back up against the wall, and his body pursued hers and pinned her against it.

"Because…" she managed to get out when their first kiss broke, but she was only interrupted by another passionate one.

"Because I…" she said as his lips traveled down to her neck.  
Her fingers clawed against his back as she felt his wander over her body.  
Strong, nimble fingers tugged at her clothing and Sakura gasped as her shirt was ripped open. She went to complain about his aggressive action, but her objection was replaced with a gasp as his cold lips and fingers explored skin that they had never explored before.  
Goosebumps appeared all over her body and shivers were sent up her spine at his icy touch. His lips traveled across her collarbone and down to her breasts. Sakura fumbled with her own bra as her breathing came out in short gasps.  
Her actions were rewarded immediately as Gaara's mouth engulfed her nipples and sent shivers of frost and pleasure throughout her body.

His fingers moved to her jeans, and before she knew it, she was stepping out of them and wrapping her legs around his waist as he hoisted her up against the wall.  
She pulled his shirt over his head and took in the sight of his pale naked torso. She ran her fingers over his thin yet strong stomach and watched as his muscles shivered under her fingers.

She took control as he closed his eyes when she pulled him into her so that she could kiss his neck.  
After only a few kisses, Gaara growled at her and pulled away.  
Sakura whimpered at the thought of him leaving her again.  
He walked over to his desk and opened up a drawer. Pulling out restraints, he returned to her and grabbed her wrists. Turning her around so that her face was pressed roughly against the wall, he tied the restraints tightly around her wrists and then returned to kissing her neck and the back of her shoulders.

_He always has to be in control…_Sakura thought to herself as she leaned back into him as his hands explored her body.  
Moaning at his caresses, Sakura felt as her skin began to heat up.  
Gaara hissed at the heat and Sakura remembered how he had said that her touch burned him.

But yet his whole body was cold, and his skin burned hers as well from its wintriness.

Before she could register what was happening, Sakura found herself bent over Gaara's bed with her face buried into the bed's covers. She felt as Gaara aggressively pulled down her underwear and entered her roughly. The blankets muffled Sakura's moaning scream at the feeling of him inside of her.

His actions were quick and rough.  
His hip bones hit against her harshly and she knew that she was going to have bruises from them.  
Pulling on her arm restraints, Sakura's body was forced to lift and Gaara whispered huskily into her ear, "Is _this_ what you wanted?"

Sakura couldn't bring herself to answer him, she could only moan as his actions grew even quicker and as he pushed her back down.

Her skin broke out into a sweat and her fair skin was red from the heat that was emanating from it.

Suddenly Gaara's hands tightened against her waist and with a short gasp he finished.  
They stayed in the position they were in, with Sakura gasping for breath and with Gaara collapsed on top of her back.

Sakura felt his chest expand and shrink as he gasped for breath and felt as he started to shake from his exertions.

Sakura knew that she should try to comfort him, after all, that was the most physical contact he had ever had in his life.  
Twisting her wrists, she found that the knots that Gaara had tied wouldn't budge.  
Gaara slouched off of her and collapsed onto the bed.

Sakura stood up and twisted her arms around more vigorously, but the restraints wouldn't budge.

She heard a low and deep sound coming from Gaara and she turned around and found him laughing.  
Her eyes widened in surprise…he was laughing.  
She had hardly ever seen him crack a smile, and now he was _laughing_.

Pointing at her arms he said, "Now _that's_ how you tie a knot."

Sakura's mouth dropped open as their first interaction reentered into her mind.

Narrowing her eyes at him, she said, "Well, don't just lay there…help me!"

Gaara smirked and pulled the longer restraint that acted like a leash to his knots so that she collapsed onto the bed next to him. With easy motions, she felt the knots loosen and she easily slipped her hands out of the restraints.

"Thanks…" she mumbled.

He didn't respond, he just nodded and stared at the floor blankly.

Walking over to her clothes, she quickly got dressed in case someone walked by and saw her.  
Deciding that her shirt wasn't completely ruined, she pulled it on and returned to sit down next to Gaara who had put on his pants but remained shirtless.

"Gaara…" she said, "you and I need to have a serious talk about all of this."

Gaara nodded and said, "I know...You never finished telling me why you're here." he said staring at her.  
She couldn't help but notice the hope in his eyes…

Playing with her fingers she said, "I'm here because…" but she hesitated once again.  
If she said this then there would be no turning back. She knew that if she finished her thought he would be bound to her forever. Taking a deep breath she tried to think of her life before he had appeared and found it boring and meaningless.  
"I'm here because I love you." she finished and then waited for his reaction.

His eyes widened and then darted back and forth as they glistened with raw emotions.

Sitting up he whispered, "Can you say that again?"

Sakura's heart grew heavy when she realized that this was probably the first time anyone had ever told him this.  
Taking his face firmly between her hands she said, "I love you."

Pulling his face out of her embrace he asked, "Will you stay here tonight?"

"Of course." Sakura said as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Are you going to read some more?"

Gaara shook his head and laid down on his bed as he grasped her shirt material and bunched it up into a firm grip. "No, I think I'm going to sleep tonight."

"But I thought you don't like to sleep." she teased him slightly.

"I don't." he said as he closed his eyes. "But maybe now it will be different…"

Sakura watched as she quickly slipped into a deep sleep, the whole time grasping onto her shirt.

She ran her fingers gently over his exposed skin and marveled at its coolness.  
_He's so cold because no one ever loved him. Love has never taken root inside of him to warm him up…he's only ever existed as a cold, loveless being._

She leaned against the wall and slowly drifted off to sleep as she listened to Gaara's breath slip in and out evenly. She couldn't help but smile as she realized that although his skin was still cold, it wasn't as cold as it had been before…

* * *

When Sakura opened her eyes again it was still dark out.  
Checking the clock in the room she saw that she had only drifted off for an hour or so.

Returning her attention back to the bed, she noticed that Gaara was gone.

Her heart immediately began to beat wildly as she jumped out of bed and rushed out to the hallway.

She strained her hears for any sort of noise but she didn't hear anything.

Entering the big rec-room, the wind beat the rain and ice wildly against the large windows.  
Sakura rushed over to a window and scanned the grounds for Gaara.

She saw him.

He was standing in the middle of the field with his hands in his pant pockets. Sakura gasped when she noticed that he still didn't have a shirt on.

_What does he think he's doing?!_ she thought to herself as she rushed towards the nearest exit. _He's going to catch his death out there!_

As soon as she got outside, the wind blew her clothes and hair wildly. Sprinting to Gaara, she winced as the rain and ice whipped against her face and exposed skin that her ripped shirt left open.

"Gaara!" she called to him as she ran to his side.

"He never touched me like that." Gaara said.

"What?!" Sakura yelled as she shielded her face against the storm. She noticed that he was shaking and that his lips were turning blue.  
_I have to warm him up..._ she thought to herself as she surveyed his condition.

"My uncle," Gaara said louder, "he never touched me. I wouldn't let him."

Sakura hugged herself to keep warm, but she was already shivering.  
She silently cursed to herself that Gaara picked now to tell her everything…

"When he took me into the house he tried, but I pushed him away. So he got mad. He grabbed a knife and carved this into my forehead." Gaara said as she motioned towards his scar. "He told me it was the only love I was ever going to get."

Sakura pulled him into her tightly, rubbing his wet back to get some kind of warmth back into him.

"I know now that he was lying…"

"Yes he was Gaara…everything he ever told you was a lie."

"Sakura…" Gaara whispered into her ear.

Sakura turned her head into his slightly to let him know that she was listening.

"I'd break the back of love for you." he whispered.

Sakura suddenly embraced the rain since it hid the silent tears that slid down her face.  
She hugged him into her closer and together they stood as the cold winter storm raged around them.


	11. Chapter 11

**I'M SORRY!!! i know it's been forever since i've updated and i thank you all for being so patient with me! i finally got a day off of work and school and homework so i got a chance to write this last chapter.  
i hope you all enjoy it and thank you ALL for the wonderful support and reviews!  
LOVE YOU ALL! it's been a wonderful trip...**

**:-)**

* * *

The temperature dropped drastically.  
So much so that in the time period of 24 hours, Sakura found herself trapped in her apartment as the rest of the world was covered in ice. The rain that had fallen the previous night had frozen and made everything an icy deathtrap for all that dared venture into it.  
The roads and sidewalks were paved in ice, the cars were sheltered under an inch of solid frost making it so that their owners couldn't get into them. 

Sakura stared helplessly out of her window as the wind and frozen tree branches cracked and moaned at her in mock voices, taunting her to leave, _daring_ her to leave her safe refuge in order to see Gaara.

And she wanted to.

She needed to.

She _had_ to…

She knew that if she were to not show up today then Gaara would flip out once again; especially since she had promised him that she would come in early again. Anxiously looking at the clock, she noted that she was already late. She knew that Gaara would take this the wrong way and file her under his Uncle, paralleling her absence with that of abandoning him.

She didn't want to lose him now, especially since she just won him over.

Steeling her will and ditching her doubts, she bundled up in layers, put on her winter boots with the best traction and made her way down to the hospital.

It was a short drive, but a long walk. A walk that she was willing to endure in order to keep Gaara's love and trust.

Sakura's arms switched from hugging her coat tighter into her to flying out to her sides in order to keep her balance on the slippery sidewalk. Her eyes flicked up and down in order to keep an eye on what was in front of her and to watch the tree branches that hovered above her, threatening to come raining down on her at the slightest wind.

The ice that often tapped her outer layer was a constant reminder of the threat that loomed above her. Her skin prickled at the anticipation of an ice covered branch piercing it, impaling her to the sidewalk.

Laughing at herself, Sakura said, "Sorry I'm late Gaara, I got impaled by a tree branch on the way to see you. I had to chew my own arm off, but I made it here alive…so how are you doing?"

Laughing again at her own silliness, she shook her head of her thoughts and continued her trek to the hospital.

She was halfway there, lost in her own thoughts and memories of the night before and all that had transpired during it when what she had feared happened. A loud crack echoed through the air, breaking Sakura out of her thoughts just in time to notice a giant dead branch crashing down above her.

Jumping out of its way, Sakura narrowly escaped the devastating limb only to twist her ankle in the process.  
Letting out a high pitched yelp, she fell to the ground grasping her hurt ankle.

Keeping her eyes trained for any more falling branches, she quickly assessed her injury and decided that it wasn't broken, just a bad sprain.  
Wincing and keeping in her whimpers of pain, she slowly stood up and began making her way to the hospital once again.  
Her ankle screamed with every step for her to stop and rest for a while, or even to just start heading home.  
She knew that going home was her best option, but at this point the hospital was about two blocks closer. She also knew that if she were to stop and rest like she wanted to, her body would slowly stiffen up, which would make her trip even harder.

Cursing at her clumsiness and at the weather, she hobbled down the sidewalk.

Wild fantasies of Gaara finding her on the way there filled her head. She could see him walking down the sidewalk, hands shoved into his pockets and shoulders hunched over to guard his neck from the winter wind. He would see her and run to her, sweeping her off of her feet and carry her the rest of the way.

Sighing at her fantasies, she told herself that they were impossible since Gaara never left the hospital.  
He probably had given up on her at this point and wasn't even expecting her to come at all.

Stripping herself of her blind hope, Sakura's ears picked up on a loud buzzing and humming coming up from behind her.  
It sounded like a snowmobile of some sort.  
Although she knew it was impossible, she silently hoped that it was Gaara once again.

The sound got louder and louder until it was right on top of her. The driver of the snowmobile rushed out in front of her and cut her off. Her heart skipped a beat since she knew that she wasn't in a good position to flee from the possible attacker, she braced herself for the worst.

The driver slowly pulled off his helmet and Sakura's heart dropped to her stomach when she noticed who it was.

"Sasuke." she said unenthusiastically. "What brings you out here?"

Gracing her with an arrogant smirk, he responded, "Well, knowing you, I knew that you would try to make it to the hospital today. So I decided to cruise by your place to see if you wanted a ride. When I got there, no one was home but your car was still there, so I decided to drive around until I found you. Looks like I came just in time too…"

Sasuke trailed off as his eyes slowly traveled down her body and rested on her hurt ankle that she was trying to not put her weight on.

Sakura's face heated with anger as she stared at him.

_What an arrogant asshole! _she screamed to herself.

She silently prayed for a branch to fall down on top of him and ruin either him _or_ his bike…but she hoped that both would get damaged.

"How did you know where I lived?" Sakura asked him as she crossed her arms over her chest trying to look as threatening as she could in her current physical state.

Sasuke's smirk grew wider as he said, "I know a lot about you."

Motioning to the back of his snowmobile, he said, "Hop on, I'll get you to the hospital in no time flat."

Not wanting to join him, she hesitated for a moment.  
Knowing that by letting him drive her, she would owe him a favor. Also, if Gaara saw her arrive on the back of a snowmobile with Sasuke, he would flip out.  
But she also knew that there was no way that she would be able to make it to the hospital in the condition that she was in…

Taking a deep breath, she hobbled her way over to Sasuke and reluctantly sat down behind him.

Sasuke's smirk grew to a smug smile as he turned sideways to ask, "Why are you going to the hospital anyways? Didn't Tsunade call and tell you that you should stay home?"

Sakura nodded and replied, "She did, but I made a promise to Gaara that I would come today."

Sasuke huffed as he put his helmet back on, "I don't know why you promise that psycho anything. He's just going to use it against you in the end."

_If you only knew…_Sakura thought to herself.

Turning back around, Sasuke told her to hang on before he accelerated, forcing Sakura to reach out and hold on to him in order to not fly off of the back.  
Deep down inside, she knew that he had done that on purpose and she knew that under that black helmet he was smiling like a madman.

* * *

When they arrived at the hospital, Sasuke helped her off of the snowmobile by picking her up bridal style. 

Much to her horror, he carried her up the stairs and threw open the hospital doors like that as well.  
As soon as she was through the doors, she cursed at her luck because Tsunade was there talking to Gaara in front of the metal gate that locked the patients in.

Her eyes met his for a second before she dropped hers to the ground burned by the ire that fueled his.

"Put me down." she muttered to Sasuke, and to her surprise, he did just that.

"Sakura, I thought I told you to stay home." Tsunade said as she walked over to Sakura supporting her under her arm.

"I know you did, but…" she trailed off as she looked up at Gaara once again, "I made a promise."

He just stared at her unmoving.  
His eyes drifted to Sasuke and then back to her in a silent question.  
Sakura shook her head slightly to let him know that it wasn't what it looked like.

"What happened to you?" Tsunade asked her as she looked Sakura over.

Sakura could only imagine the mess that she looked like.  
Her hair was windblown wild from the ride there, her clothes were wet and wrinkled, and she could barely put any weight on her ankle.

"It's a long story," she said as she rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment.

"Let's get you cleaned up and looked at." Tsunade said as she ushered Sakura towards the gate.

Much to everyone's surprise, Gaara walked up to them and picked Sakura up bridal style and headed to one of the examination rooms.

Tsunade was too stunned to notice the way that Sakura's arms wrapped around Gaara's neck or how her head rested against his chest…Sasuke, however, noticed immediately.

Sakura stopped the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

"Gaara…" she started, "I'm sorry I'm late…I…"

"Do you still think I'm stupid, Sakura?"

Mouth hanging open, she shook her head 'no'.

"I didn't expect you were going to come today anyways. Especially after I told Tsunade to call and tell you to not come in."

"You told her to do that?" Sakura asked stunned.

He nodded and said, "I knew that you would try to make it out here and I wanted to prevent…this…from happening." he motioned his head towards her ankle and she blushed once again.

"It wouldn't have mattered either way, there was nothing going to stop me from seeing you today anyways."

Gaara's jaw clenched at her words and he muttered, "Why did _he_ carry you in?"

He placed her on an examination table and delicately untied her boot and slipped it off without agitating her ankle further.

"He found me walking, right after I slipped and did this to myself. I didn't want to ride with him but I knew it was the quickest way here…" she let the rest remain unspoken between them, but Gaara nodded in understanding.

She felt as a weight was lifted from her shoulders with that simple nod and smiled at him.

Taking a chance, she reached out and brushed some of the unruly red hair out of Gaara's face.  
He leaned his head in slightly to her hand.

_Just like a moth drawn to the warmth_, she thought to herself and she smiled at him wider.

He felt warm, but not the usual warmth that most people possess, it was a fevered warmth.  
A warmth that threatened him with the breakout of a cold sweat.

"What were you talking to Tsunade about?" she asked as she continued to pet him.

Shrugging he replied, "I wanted to go outside, but she wouldn't let me without wearing a coat, so we were arguing about it."

Sakura shook her head and laughed at him, "You'll freeze to death out there one of these days."

"I wouldn't mind it so much…I like the cold, it would be a good way to die."

"Am I interrupting something?" a bitter voice said from the doorway, and Sakura looked up to see Sasuke looming there.

Sakura watched as Gaara's face darkened and heard a low growl come from him.

Rubbing a part of his arm that was hidden from Sasuke's view, she tried to calm him down as she said, "Not at all, Gaara was just helping me with my boot."

Sasuke huffed again and muttered, "I'm sure."

Tsunade joined them in the room and taped Sakura's ankle up.  
Just as Sakura had thought, it wasn't broken, only sprained.

Sasuke loomed in the doorway the entire time, glaring daggers at Gaara who was returning the same look.  
Feeling the tension in the air, Sakura stretched and thanked Tsunade.

Then she stood up gingerly and said, "Come on Gaara, I think we have a session that I'm late for."

Gaara stood up from squatting against the wall and supported Sakura with one of his arms.  
As they walked past Sasuke, he gave him a threatening sideways glance before they headed to his room.

Once they reached Gaara's door, Sakura started to hobble in with Gaara trailing behind her when she heard Sasuke say, "Sakura, can I talk to you for a second."

Gaara spun around and glared at Sasuke, poised to attack him at any second.

"What do you want Sasuke?" she asked as she peered around Gaara.

"I just told you, I want to talk to you for a second." Looking at Gaara he emphasized, "Alone."

Weighing her options, Sakura told Gaara to wait for her in his room.  
Gaara gave her a skeptical look but then slowly turned and slouched his way to his room.

When his door was closed behind him, Sasuke said, "I see you have him on a tight leash. I didn't think that beast could be tamed so well…I wonder what Tsunade would say about it."

"I wonder what Tsunade would say about you stalking me." Sakura shot back at him.

She could feel anger building up inside of her stomach and spreading throughout her body in her veins.

"She won't mind so much after I tell her what I've discovered…" he said smirking evilly.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" Sakura asked, crossing her arms in front of her.

Leaning against the wall and picking at one of the holes in it, Sasuke shrugged and asked, "So how long have you been fucking him?"

The heat that was once residing inside of her was extinguished by the glacial feeling of fear and panic as she realized the damage Sasuke could do with such knowledge.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sakura responded with a choked voice.

Chuckling quietly Sasuke said, "You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about."

She had to get away from him, before she betrayed the secret that was between Gaara and her completely.

"Gaara's waiting on me…" she said as she turned around to open the door.

"Wouldn't want to keep him waiting…" Sasuke said as he walked closer to her.

Pressing himself against her back, he whispered into her ear, "Don't worry Sakura, your secret is safe with me. That is, if you do _everything_ I want you to do…"

"And what's that?" Sakura hissed as her skin crawled at his touch.

Sasuke leaned into her hair and took a deep breath and said, "I think you know."

Forcing back the bile that was building up in her throat, Sakura pushed him off of her and said, "No way."

"You say that now, but we'll see just how far you'll go in order to keep this secret of yours."

And with that said, he turned away and walked down the hallway.

Sakura watched him leave, her eyes wide in horror.

_How does he know?_ she thought to herself. _There's just no way that he could know…_

When she turned around to Gaara's door once again, she found him standing in it staring at her.

"He knows…" she whispered, staring at him with eyes brimming with tears.

Gaara shifted his eyes from her to the retreating back of Sasuke.

"Don't worry about it." Gaara said. "He doesn't have any solid proof, it's just your word against his. And who do you think Tsunade is going to believe?"

Reassured by his words, Sakura nodded and walked into his room.  
Gaara glared hard at the shrinking form of Sasuke before he closed the door behind him.

* * *

Each day seemed to get colder and colder.  
The weatherman reported that this winter was the coldest one ever recorded in the town's history. 

Sakura arrived early and stayed late everyday. She would arrive with the anticipation of seeing Gaara and leave with the smell of him all over her.  
She found that he was so starved for physical contact and affection that every chance they got alone together he was immediately all over her touching her skin, hair, and clothes.

She had even given him one of her favorite decorative hairpins that she had for special occasions and he carried it around with him everywhere he went just like a child carries around his teddy bear.  
She didn't even have to ask him if he had it because she knew that it was in his pocket. She often teased him saying that the only affliction that he had was one of being depraved and that she could easily cure him if he would only just leave the hospital and move into her apartment with her.

He would refuse of course, telling her that this was his home and he was never leaving.

Frustration happened almost everyday for Sakura.  
Although they had grown much closer, it seemed that he still hesitated to tell her things. He would often remind her that she _couldn't_ help him. That it would be easier for him to make her go crazy before she could ever make him sane.

One night, as Sakura was quickly pulling her clothes back on, Gaara said, "Do you see yet?"

"See what?" she asked confused, checking the door to make sure no one was looking in.

"That you're just like me."

Pausing, Sakura turned to look at him confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You're crazy, just like me."

Shaking her head and laughing she responded, "Haven't you ever heard that opposites attract?"

"They also repel." he shot back at her.

"What are you trying to say Gaara?" she asked, getting frustrated once again.

"I'm saying that if you're not careful, you'll end up in here with me, forced to look out of the windows as the world changes and goes on without you."

"You're not forced to stay here, Gaara.You can leave whenever you want to."

"There's nothing out there for me."

"I am."

Gaara huffed at her, "For now…"

"Gaara…" Sakura said as she sat back down next to him on his bed. "I love you, and I'm not going anywhere."

Huffing at her again, he responded, "Love is just an excuse to get hurt."

"Then why do you allow me to love you, and love me back in return?"

Darkness clouded his eyes as he said, "Because it's also an excuse _to_ hurt."

"You want to hurt me?" Sakura asked indignant and panicked.

He didn't answer her, he just stared at the wall in front of him.

Sakura sat next to him and did the exact same thing. Thoughts swirled around in her head as she thought about what he had just told her.

"These thoughts, these feelings of peace and contentment…they're overwhelming." he said.

Sakura gave him a sideways glance and noticed for the first time that his eyes were wider then usual and that he was clawing at his chest right above his heart.

"It's overwhelming…" he repeated, "so much so that it hurts."

Sakura got off of the bed and kneeled down in front of him on the ground.  
His eyes watched her move and focused on her with such desire and paranoia that Sakura almost flinched.

"Come with me." she said taking his hands so that she could stop his clawing before he hurt himself again.  
He shook his head and looked at his hands in hers.

"Come with me," she repeated. "Tomorrow I'll check you out and you can come to my apartment. Not to stay forever, I just want you to see what it's like away from this place. I want you to see what your life could be like…"

"If I agree, will you stop bugging me about it?" he asked.

Sakura nodded as her eyes filled with hope.  
Gaara simply nodded in agreement and she stood up from off of the floor and jumped on him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"You won't regret it Gaara, I promise."

It was a delayed response, but Gaara's arms eventually snaked their away around her to return her embrace.

"But _you_ will…" he said. "Taking me out of here won't result in anything good."

"We'll see about that." she winked.

She left shortly after their promise had been made.  
Rushing home, she cleaned her apartment immediately. She wanted it to look nice for Gaara, so much so that he was encouraged to stay, if only to escape the shabbiness of the mental hospital.

* * *

The next morning, she arrived before the sun even threatened the heavy snow with its presence. 

Sakura was surprised to see that Sasuke's car was there, but she dismissed it by remembering why she was there so early. She wanted to fill out Gaara's temporary release papers and practice her speech that she was going to give Tsunade in order to convince the woman to sign them and also to tell her that after her internship was done, she wanted to work at the mental hospital full-time.  
She also planned on helping Gaara pack up the few belongings he had so that he was all ready to go.

The sooner she got him out of there, the better.

The hospital was darker then usual.  
Sakura blamed it on the winter and its lack of sun and warmth. Everything seemed so much gloomier to her during this season...

Her footsteps echoed down the hallway as she made her way to her destinations.  
Climbing up the stairs in order to get to the office where the release papers were held, Sakura quickly grabbed a sheet and a pen and started to make her way to Gaara's room.

When she returned to the staircase, she noticed a shadow standing by them.

"Gaara?" she questioned the dark figure.

The figure moved and said, "No…not Gaara."

Sakura's heart stopped when she realized who it was.

"What are you doing here Sasuke?" she asked as she made her way to the staircase, the quicker she was by him the better.

"I've been noticing that you get here earlier and earlier everyday…I wonder why that is."

"It's none of your business." she said as she tried to pass him.

Putting her foot out to go down the first stair, Sakura was jerked back by Sasuke grabbing her arm and pulled her into him.

"Do you love him?" he hissed at her.

"Let me go." she said as she tried to free her arm from his tightening grip.

"Do you _love_ him?" he said louder through gritted teeth.

"Sasuke, you're hurting me. Let me go!"

She shouted the last part hoping that someone would hear her and come to investigate what was going on.

A smile that chilled Sakura's soul slowly crept onto Sasuke's face and her head was jerked back with such force that she winced at the pain that shot through her neck.

"I haven't even _begun_ to hurt you yet." he whispered into her ear before he threw her against the wall, pinning her against it with his hand still pulling on her hair.

Sakura tried to scream but Sasuke hit her hard in the face before she could get a sound out.

Using his forearm to press her neck, he let go of her hair and reached into his pocket and pulled out a syringe.  
Waving the syringe playfully in front of Sakura's face, he said, "Do you know what this is? Nembutal. I was going to use it on Gaara but I figured it would be more fun if I used it on you instead…"

Sakura tried to breath in order to scream once again, but Sasuke just pressed on her throat harder.

"Scream and I'll kill him."

Hopelessness filled her.  
She knew that the night guard would never come if he didn't hear a reason to, and Gaara didn't even know that she was hear yet.

She was alone.

Alone with Sasuke…

She let the hopelessness fill her and her whole body relaxed against the wall, submitting to the defeat.  
Sasuke laughed and licked the side of her face and Sakura felt the bile build up again.

_What would Gaara think if he saw me like this? _she asked herself.  
_He would see me as weak and pathetic. He would tell me that he resisted his uncle when he was only six, so why couldn't I have resisted Sasuke now?  
He would see me as weak…_

Something exploded inside of Sakura at this revelation.  
She wasn't weak, and she didn't want Gaara to see her as such.

Wrenching the needle away from the unsuspecting Sasuke, she jammed it into his throat and injected the drug into his system.

"I told you to get OFF OF ME!" she screamed as she pushed him off of her.

Everything seemed to go into slow motion.  
Sakura watched as Sasuke stumbled backwards from the force of her push.  
She watched as his arms flailed at his sides in order to keep his balance.

_Why is he doing that?_ she thought, and then the realization hit her.

The stairs.

She rushed forward to grab his shirt, but it was too late.  
She felt as the material brushed against her fingertips.  
She watched and listened in horror as Sasuke screamed and fell down the stairs.  
Every time his body hit a stair, a loud crunching and popping noise was heard.  
By the time he was at the bottom of the stairs, he was no longer screaming and his limbs and neck were twisted in unnatural ways.

Sakura only stared at his mangled body.

_What have I just done? _she thought to herself in horror.

Sensing that someone else was in the room, her eyes drifted to the left of Sasuke's body and found Gaara staring up at her from the bottom of the staircase.

He didn't say anything, they just stared at one another in disbelief and horrific understanding.

The moment was broken by lights flickering on down the hallway as the night guard came to see where the noise had come from.

Gaara looked at her once again and said, "Go."

"W…what?" she asked him.

"Leave." Gaara said again, motioning for her to run away.

"But…what about you?"

"Don't worry about me. Just get out of here before anyone sees you. Don't tell anyone you were here today, and don't come in until someone calls you."

"But Gaara…I…"

"GO!" he yelled, and Sakura's body listened to him while her mind protested.

She didn't hear him, but as she retreated he whispered a quiet, "I love you..." as she left.

She dashed down the upstairs hallway as quickly as she could due to her ankle and ran down the stairs on the opposite side of the hospital, making her way out to her car and into the freezing winter air.

She sped home and locked her apartment door behind her, collapsing against it as sobs racked her body.

_I just killed someone!_ she yelled in her mind as she pulled on her hair.

Picking up the phone, she fingers automatically dialed a number.  
The phone rang a few times before she heard the familiar, tired voice of her best friend, Ino.

"Hello?" the blonde girl mumbled tiredly into the phone.

"Ino…" Sakura whispered.

"Well, well, well, look who it is! If it isn't the girl that doesn't return phone calls. He had better be worth it." Ino's voice said, suddenly awake and full of anger.

Sakura only remained silent.

"I figured you found this guy that you totally fell in love with, I mean, why else wouldn't you return _any_ of my calls? I just hope he was worth ditching your best friend for…"

This wasn't what Sakura wanted to hear at all.  
She sobbed into the phone as Ino ranted at her.

"Sakura?" Ino said, suddenly sympathetic. "I'm only joking with you…what's wrong?"

Sakura couldn't answer her, she just kept crying.

"I'm on my way." Ino said and immediately hung up the phone.

When Ino got there, Sakura broke down and told her everything.

She told her how she had gotten the internship at the mental hospital, how she was put in charge of Gaara, she told her about the relationship that her and Gaara had, how Sasuke was practically stalking her, she retold how she had almost been raped by him, how she had pushed him down the stairs, and how Gaara had taken the fall for her.

When she was done, Ino was holding her friend so tightly that Sakura was having a hard time breathing between her sobs.

"It was self-defense, Sakura." Ino said, trying to comfort her. "You can't get into trouble for that."

Sakura shook her head, "But no one was there to witness it! They'll just put the puzzle pieces together and say that I drugged him and threw him down the stairs!"

"Gaara saw it…" Ino tried.

"They won't believe him! They see him as a killer as well! No one would even listen to him…"

Ino sat in silence as she rubbed Sakura's back.

"I just wanted to be happy…" she sobbed into her hands.

Both girls jumped when Sakura's apartment phone rang.  
Exchanging glances, Sakura slowly walked over to it and picked it up.

Clearing her throat, she said in as steady of a voice as she could muster, "Hello?"

"Sakura, it's Tsunade. Something has happened at the hospital and I need you to get here as soon as you can."

Sakura nodded and said, "I'm on my way," and hung up the phone.

Ino walked Sakura out to her car and gave her one more reassuring hug.

"Be strong." she whispered to her friend before Sakura closed her car door and sped to the hospital.

* * *

Police cars and an ambulance were parked in front of the main doors and Tsunade was standing outside talking to an officer and gesturing wildly. 

Sakura rushed up to the woman and asked what happened.

"Gaara pushed Sasuke down the stairs!" she yelled as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. "I thought you said he was stable!?"

"He was…" Sakura said, "I mean, he _is_. Sasuke must have done something to him."

Tsunade shook her head and said, "I don't know what happened, but Gaara's gone."

"What?!" Sakura yelled as her panicked state became heightened.

"He's gone!" Tsunade repeated. "The night guard found him standing over Sasuke's body and then Gaara ran away and out the doors. He could be anywhere!"

Sakura immediately scanned the area around her looking for a clue to where Gaara had gone.  
She noticed policemen doing the same exact thing. She looked down at the snow but knew that Gaara was way too smart to leave tracks behind him.

The wind suddenly picked up, bringing promise of another storm and Sakura pulled her coat in tighter.  
It was so cold out…and Tsunade said that Gaara just ran out of the doors, and from what she could remember, he was only wearing his usual jeans and a t-shirt.

_He'll freeze out here._ she thought to herself as she scanned more frantically.

"Tsunade, do you mind if I stay here until we find him?" she asked.

Tsunade shook her head 'no' and told her that she could stay for as long as she wanted to.

They searched all day for Gaara, not finding a single trace of him.

Sakura went to his room when her whole body was numb from searching for him outside in the cold all day.

_Please be safe and warm…_she thought to herself as she paced around his room.

Trying to keep her mind off of his possible frozen corpse, Sakura picked up her Poe book that she had let him borrow and flipped through it. The book was filled with underlined verses that Gaara had singled out.  
Flipping through the pages, she let it rest on one and read the verse that was underlined, it read:

**_"__I am up  
Here like a roman statue.  
I will stand  
'Till death hath made me marble!"_**

Sakura slammed the book shut as a vision of Gaara frozen to death filled her mind.

Laying down on his bed, she hugged his flat pillow into her and buried her face into it, letting his scent fill her lungs.

She soon fell into a fitful sleep…

* * *

The next day, the cops had expanded their search to a wider perimeter…but Sakura knew that Gaara was still on the hospital grounds.  
He was so reluctant to leave, why would he leave now? 

She traveled outside by herself, scanning the hospital grounds once again.

Going to the tree that she had first found Gaara hiding in, she leaned herself against the trunk and squeezed her eyes shut as tears ran down her cheeks.  
The tears slowed down as the cold air almost froze them to her skin. Wiping them off of her face immediately, Sakura dropped her eyes to the ground and noticed something odd.

There was a single red dot in the snow. Bending down, she took off her gloves and ran her hand over it.  
Standing up once again, her eyes noticed another one on the tree trunk that she was leaning on.

Her heart raced. She knew that she had to look up into the tree, but yet, she didn't want to.  
She was afraid of what she would find up there.

As she turned her head slowly, her scream was drowned in her throat by the sob that came out with it.

There was Gaara hiding in a grouping of tight branches that concealed him from anyone that would looking for him.

His skin was blue.

Sakura scrambled up the tree to get to him and pulled off her coat and covered his body with it.  
She frantically rubbed him in order to get some warmth back into him, but she knew it was too late.

Gaara was dead, and it was all her fault.

The haunted cries that escaped from her blended in with the wind and was carried away.

Pulling him into her arms tighter, she rocked back and forth and sobbed louder as she heard the cracking noise of his frozen bare skin peel away from the ice on the tree.

Her tears fell from her face and landed into his hair only to freeze there, making him appear even colder then he had been when she had found him.

She felt her life and sanity slipping away with every tear that fell, falling onto the one person that it all belonged to.

Tsunade's words returned to her, _"Gaara is good at hiding, he'll only be found when he wants to be found."_

"Why?!? She yelled at him shaking his frozen corpse. "Why are you so good at hiding?! Why didn't you want to be found?! So what if they had found you? What were they going to do?! They just would have admitted you here without release! Isn't that what you wanted!?!?"

She didn't realize just how much she really needed him and how much her life had revolved around him until he was gone.

_I never got to tell him,_ she sobbed to herself, I_ never got to tell him how much he really meant to me. Maybe if I had told him he wouldn't have stayed behind, he would have ran away with me and then he'd still be here and alive…_

She stayed there and cried until the tears refused to fall and her skin was numb from the freezing winter air.

She pulled him away from her slightly to get a better look at him.

His eyes were closed and he was smiling.  
She smiled bitterly at the irony that his face was forever frozen with a facial expression that she had rarely seen from him.

_I wonder what he's smiling about…_ she thought as she traced her swollen fingers over his lips.

The same lips that barely a day ago covered every inch of her skin.  
The same lips that had claimed hers so hungrily...begging for her love and touch.

Remembering the blood on the ground, she looked him over to see where he had been bleeding from.  
She didn't find anywhere that was scratched or punctured…but his hand. There was blood on his hand.

It looked like his hand was closed tightly around something.

Prying it open, she found her hairclip.  
He had held onto her hair clip the entire time, squeezing it so tightly that it had punctured his hand, making it bleed.

"Gaara…" she sobbed, pulling him into her once again. "I'm so sorry…please forgive me."

Sakura heard Tsunade calling for her, but she didn't move from where she was. She just sat in the tree holding Gaara to her, hoping that she could somehow revive him.

Tsunade screamed when she found Sakura. She rushed away and returned in record time holding a blanket and with a policeman following close behind her.

They tried to talk her out of the tree, but Sakura only held onto Gaara's body tighter and shook her head 'no' over and over again.

She wouldn't be separated from him, not now, not ever.

It wasn't until a few policemen and Tsunade herself pulled Sakura out of the tree and pried Gaara away from her that they were separated.

Sakura screamed and kicked at Tsunade as she wrapped a blanket around her and dragged her back inside of the building.

* * *

Once inside, Sakura refused to talk to anyone. She just sat in one the chairs in Tsunade's office staring at the cup of tea that Tsunade had offered her. 

The police tried to get Sakura to talk, but she just stared ahead at the walls never answering their questions.

It wasn't until Tsunade was discussing where Gaara should be buried that she spoke.

"Here." she said, interrupting the argument they were having. "He should be buried here. It's what he would have wanted."

Tsunade nodded in understanding and made the arrangements.

After everyone had left, Tsunade turned to Sakura and said, "Why don't you go home? There's nothing else you can do for now. I'll call you and tell you when the burial is."

"I am home." Sakura said as she stared ahead of her.

Tsunade shook her head once again, and left Sakura sitting where she was.

Eventually, Sakura made her way to Gaara's room.  
Once there, she sat on the bed and stared at the walls of the room.

_They're not so boring after all, _she thought to herself.

She refused to leave his room.

She refused to eat anything.

She refused to talk to anyone.

At Gaara's burial, Tsunade and Sakura were the only ones there.  
Temari and Kankuro hadn't shown up, Sakura wondered if anyone had even bothered to tell them that their brother was dead.

When they lowered his casket into the ground by the tree that he had died in, Sakura placed her apartment key in with it.

"For the things we could have had and never did." she said quietly.

Tsunade turned and walked slowly back inside leaving Sakura there alone.

"You're home Gaara. The coldness that constantly threatened to consume you finally did…and you're home."

Tears started to flow from her eyes again as she thought about burying herself in with him.

* * *

After the burial, Sakura never talked to anyone again. 

Tsunade let her stay in Gaara's room and eventually called Ino to see if she could help.

When Sakura refused to even talk to Ino, Tsunade brought the crying blonde girl back to her office and asked if she knew anything that Sakura might not have told her.

Ino told her everything.  
She told Tsunade about her relationship with Gaara and what had happened between her and Sasuke.

Tsunade was shocked that she had let something like that slip under her watchful eye, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense.  
She figured there was no point in yelling or punishing the only remaining offender since she was being punished enough already.

A month passed and Sakura still wasn't improving.  
Everyday she was closing in on herself, shutting out the rest of the world.

Ino stopped by to drop some of Sakura's stuff off.  
She gave her some clothes, music, books, and a few other items that she thought might help Sakura get better.

Nothing did.

Sakura never changed out of the clothes that she last saw Gaara in and the only book that she read was the Poe book that he had last read.

Tsunade examined her and decided that she had had a total mental breakdown after discovering Gaara like that and admitted her into the hospital.  
She let her stay in Gaara's room since she thought that it may help her get better.

Ino would visit occasionally, but after she realized that Sakura was never going to talk to her, she stopped coming.

_The worst thing about being a doctor is knowing what's happening to you._ Sakura thought to herself. _I know I'm going crazy, I know what's going on…but I don't want to stop it. Does that make me crazy? Can a person that knows she's going crazy really be qualified as a crazy person?_

The same coldness that constantly haunted Gaara's skin and touch started to seep its way into hers.  
The warmness in her that had once burned him with every touch was extinguished completely and Sakura found that she liked the cold much better. It was almost blissful to her…she could see why Gaara liked it so much.

_In the end it all comes back to him…_she concluded. _I told him that I was going to fix him, that I was the one that was going to bring him back to the real world. And he warned me, he told me he couldn't be fixed, that he was incurable…only now do I realize that he was telling the truth. He had an affliction that couldn't be cured by anyone, little did I know that it was an affliction that could rub off onto others._

_He told me I was just like him…he has no idea how right he really was._

**_The End._**


End file.
